Author: admin

Why are harps like elderly parents?

Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars.

Entra un tipo a una farmacia y dice:

“Deme una caja de Tampax, por favor”.

El de la farmacia se le queda viendo extra�ado y le pregunta:

“Mire, �y para qu� quiere Ud. una caja de Tampax”.

“Es que eso fue lo que me recet� el doctor para el resfriado este que tengo”.

“Oiga se�or. El Tampax no es para el resfriado. El Tampax es para otra cosa…”.

Y le explica. Entonces le dice el de la farmacia al final:

“Ud. lo que busca es CONTAX”.

“�Efectivamente! �Con raz�n me costaba tanto trabajo trag�rmelos!”

On their way home from attending an Ash Wednesday service, little Johnny asked his mother, “Is it true, Mommy, that we are made of dust like the minister said tonight?””Yes, darling,” his mother answered.”And is it true that we go back to dust again when we die?””Yes, dear,” his mother replied.”Well, Mommy, when I said my prayers last night and looked under the bed, I saw someone who is either coming or going?”

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.