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Va la abuela con su nieto caminando a un costado del cerro Santa Luc�a en Santiago. La anciana, sin darse cuenta se tira un pedo tan fuerte que el ni�o escucha, y de inmediato pregunta:
“Abuelita, �qu� fue eso?”
A la mujer lo �nico que se le ocurre decirle es que era el ca�onazo de las 12:00 p.m. Pero un borracho por detr�s protesta:
“�Oye, vieja pedorra, ponte el culo en hora, son reci�n las 11:30 a.m.!”
It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).Yet Another Darwin award candidate – or pair of candidates — this just might be the winner!
A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Texas woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mississippi woodpecker was in awe. The Texas woodpecker then challenged the Mississippi woodpecker to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been able to peck
successfully.
After flying to Texas, the Mississippi woodpecker was able to peck the Texas tree with no problem. The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Mississippi tree and the Mississippi woodpecker was able to peck the Texas tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state?
After thinking for some time they both came to the same conclusion…..
Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home!!
Once there was a women named Mrs. Owens, she goes to the doctor,
and when she gets there she gets undressed and the doctor comes
in.
The doctor couldn’t help saying, “Mrs. Owens I couldn’t help
noticing, but you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen”.
So when she gets home she decides to see for her self.
She takes a BIG mirror off of the wall and she puts it on the
floor, then she gets undressed and stands on the mirror and
spreds her legs, then she hears her husband walk in from work
early, he comes in and says “what the hell are you doing?!” she
says “I’m excercising”. He says “well, be careful not to fall
in that BIG hole there”.
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New!
The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot.
So he went to the lady’s house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
“Wow!” the man said. “Can I take it for a test drive?”
Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady’s house.
“Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?”
“My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money.”
Blond peeple arnt that dumm, reellee! Wee mite seem pathetic 2 sum peeple but I bet we hav better personalitees than mowst peeple we no. If you’d just giv us a chans and C that we R not all that dumm…We can even type porprely coz we R intelgilent peeple alswes, oops, aswell!
What’s the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in handicapped zones.
Q. why did the woman cross the road?
A. never mind that, what the f*** is she doing out of the kitchen?
One afternoon there was a family who was coming back from church. While the were on the road they passed by a cement factory. The factory was giving off some steam from their ducts. One of the smaller kids in the back of the mini van looked at the steam and said, “Humph”. “So thats how clouds are made”.
Goebel’s Law Of Intellectual Obscurity: What fun is it to be an expert if you make yourself easy to understand?
When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, “It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”
The world is like a bowl of jelly beans no one likes the black ones