Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says.”While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.”The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, “I’d like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please.””Yes sir,” says the clerk, “but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?”
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Purchasing power of burgers
A simple alternative, now that McDonald’s has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.”A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany can just barely obtain four Big Macs,” the IW said.Conclusion: based on the Big Mac index, the dollar is undervalued, the institute said.Americans can get their best Big Mac buy these days in Moscow, where one sandwich costs only about 59 cents.But Russians must “work nearly two days in order to afford this meaty capitalist achievement – longer than people in any other country”, the IW said.
Basketball game
This blonde walks in to a basketball game
with her friends they sat down and she ask
them why is there a zebar on the floor.
New baby somantics
A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, “You can’t touch those babies. You aren’t sterile!”With out missing a beat, he retorted “You’re telling me!”
Instructions for a chainsaw:…
Instructions for a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands or genitals.
Why did Miss Tomato turn red?…
Why did Miss Tomato turn red?
Because she saw Mr. Green Pea.
Proof: Girls are the root of all evil.
if girls require time _and_ money, should that be stated
Girls = Time + Money
instead? This leaves us with, using the well-known fact that time is money
which you mentioned,
Girls = 2*Money
Under the assumption that money is the root of all evil, it can now be found
that
Girls = 2*sqrt(evil)
In words, girls are _twice_ the root of all evil, instead of just evil,as you
proved.
Multicultural Hell
Hell happens to be multi-cultural:The Germans are the police force,The Italians the defence force,The Indonesians are in charge of housing,The Indians run the railways,The Irish make the laws,The Enlish are the cooks….. and the common language is Dutch.
A rebel without a clue!
Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!
Tampax For Brother?
Two boys show up at the local drugstore.
One is 12 years old and the other is 6. The older boy orders some Tampax for his little brother.
“You must be a little mixed up,” the clerk says, “don’t you want it for your mother?”
The kid keeps insisting he wants it for his brother and says, “I saw on TV if you wear Tampax you can ride a bicycle and go swimming…he can’t do any of those things now.”
Few Gymnasts
Q: Why aren’t there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
Blonde joke
Wanna know a invention for a blonde?
A screen door for a submarine.