Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is
on the outside?
A. K9P.
Author: admin
Grandfather & Grandson fishing
One day, this young boy and his Grandfather were fishing in a boat out on a lake. The Grandfather pulls out a beer from his cooler and starts drinking it. The boy asks “Grandpa, can I have one of those?” Grandpa replies, “When your willie’s long enough to touch your ass, then you’ll be old enough and I will give you one.”
A little later the Grandfather pulls out a long cigar. The boy asks “Grandpa, can I have one of those?” He replies ” If your willie can touch your ass, then you can have one.”
Later that day the boy pulls out a snack pack and starts eating it. The Grandfather asks, “Grandson, can I get one of those?”
The boy asks, “Can your willie touch your ass?”
The Grandfather says “Yes it can.”
The boy says, “Then go screw yourself.”
Buddhist pizza
What did the Buddhist ask the pizza maker? “Make me one with everything.”
Blonde joke
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time.
First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.
They didn’t like people yelling fake incidents. Then the blonde stepped up and she thought that yelling a mother nature disaster was a good idea. They yelled 1-2-3 and the blonde yelled FIRE!
What do blondes and cow shit have in common?
What do blondes and cow shit have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Early one morning a stranger pulled up to…
Early one morning a stranger pulled up to the gas station in his convertible, and on the back seat were standing three penguins.The cashier saw the peguins in the car, and when the man came in to pay she asked him what he was doing with the three penguins.”I don’t know what to do with them,” said the man. “I’ve just been driving around with them in the back seat all week.””Why don’t you take them to the zoo?” said the cashier.”Why, that’s a great idea! I’ll take them there right away!A few days later, the same man pulls up in his convertible, and he still has those three penguins standing on his back seat!”I thought you were going to take those penguins to the zoo,” said the cashier.”Oh, I did, and we had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach!”
where do gays park their bikes?…
where do gays park their bikes?
between thar battymen boyfriends sweatty poo ridden shit squelching spearhead rubbing hiv spreading AAASSSSS
Swap positions
“Darling,” says a husband coyly to his wife, “let’s swap positions tonight.”
“What a good idea,” she replies. “You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes and I’ll sit in front of the TV and fart.”
Football player
Striker: “i’ve got a great idea of how to strengthen our team” Manager: “Great
when are you leaving???”
Highway Patrolmen
The woman in question , a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled
over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle
officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket
book she said:
” I bet you are going to give me a ticket to the Highway
Patrolmen’s Ball.”
He replied ” No, highway patrolmen dont have BALLS.”
So fat
your mammas so fat even god couldnt lift her spirits
Hans Guarding the Farmer’s Daughter
A young salesman was out on business when one night he had to stop at a farm. The only room available was with the farmers pretty daughter . The farmer having heard this kind of joke before asked his faithful farm hand Hans to wait outside the door with a shotgun and if he heard any hanky panky shoot the stranger.
The next morning the sales man lift a bit quickly and the farmer proud of his quick thinking said to his daughter ‘ So, that city fella didn’t try any thing with you? ‘
‘Oh no’ said the girl ‘Hans just gave me his shotgun, put on my nightie and told me to wait in the corridor and make sure the guy couldn’t escape ‘ti morning!’