What animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah!
Author: admin
Knock KnockWho’s there?Wheelbarrow!Wheelbarrow who?Wheelbarrow some
Knock KnockWho’s there?Wheelbarrow!Wheelbarrow who?Wheelbarrow some money and go on holiday!
Christmas Knock-Knock
Knock-Knock
Who’s there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
The Top 15 Unforeseen Effects of a Hollywood Writers’ Strike
15> New “ER Survivor” hybrid has the docs attempting to cook a wild pig with defibrillator paddles.
14> With no dialogue, Kathy Ireland’s career finally takes off.
13> David E. Kelley has time to talk to his friends and family again, and discovers he married Michelle Pfieffer!
12> ABC’s new reality show: “The Mole II: The Union-Buster”
11> Sylvester Stallone bumped from “Rambo V” in favor of Marcel Marceau, “the world’s most violent mime.”
10> A bored Arnold Schwarzenegger starts shooting his neighbors and blowing up his own cars.
9> “Wazzzup” sitcom followed quickly by “Wazzzup: The Movie.”
8> A million monkeys typing on a million typewriters begin working on the next Steven Seagal movie.
7> *Both* cops play by the book.
6> “Friends” and “Temptation Island” merge as “Temptation Friends,” a reality show in which the other cast members repeatedly offer lines of coke to Matthew Perry.
5> Michael Crichton’s Wealth-o-Meter temporarily dips to $3 million per minute.
4> “Okay, the best script for this week’s ‘Frazier’ wins the immunity idol. Survivors get ready… write!”
3> New “Everybody Loves Keanu” is nothing but one “Whoa!” after another.
2> Sympathetic Hollywood deli owners lower the price of a corned beef sandwich from $18.99 to $18.95.
1> “Here’s your question for $250,000: How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]To
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Food
What kind food is it that ruins your sex life?
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Wedding Cake-Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bumper Sticker #121
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Beware of a tall dark
Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
Female Clown
“I once made love to a female clown. It was weird
because she twisted my penis into a poodle.”
—Dan Whitney
Q: How many proofreaders
Q: How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Proofreaders aren’t supposed to change lightbulbs. They should just query them.
Halloween
Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A: A blood vessel!
Q: Why do witches think they are funny?
A: Every time they look in the mirror the mirror cracks up!
Q: Why does the skeleton not like parties?
A: He has no-body to dance with!
He is new to baseball
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. “So, how did you do son?” he asked.”You’ll never believe it!” Billy said. “I was responsible for the winning run!””Really? How’d you do that?” “I dropped the ball.”