Author: admin

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend who used to work with him asked him how he liked his new role.

“Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

Two Irish men walk into a pet shop. They go directly over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “Dat’s dem.” The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them.”Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere,” says Gerry, “Put dem in a peeper bag.” The clerk puts the budgies in a bag, and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry’s van and drive until they are high up on a hill, and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.”Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?” says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds, before he hits the rocks below with a ‘SPLAT!’. As Paddy looks down he shakes his head and says, “Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin’ is too fockin’ dangerous for me.” A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying a ‘peeper bag’. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.”Hi, Paddy. Watch dis,” Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot’s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is another ‘SPLAT!’ and his remains join Gerry’s at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, “An’ oim never troyin’ dat parrotshooting nider.” A few minutes after Seamus has gone splat, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop, and he walks up carrying the now familiar ‘peeper bag’. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head – “Fock me Sean! First der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now you fockin’ hen glidin…”

Un tipo est� en su cama con su esposa cuando alguien toca a la puerta. El hombre ve su reloj y son las tres de la madrugada. En eso vuelven a tocar, esta vez m�s fuerte, as� que el tipo se levanta y baja las escaleras, abre la puerta y ve a un hombre evidentemente borracho.

“Hola”, balbucea el desconocido. “�Me puede dar un empujoncito…?”

“No, vete al carajo. Son m�s de las tres”, dice el hombre, regresa a la cama y le cuenta a su esposa lo sucedido.

Ella le dice: “Oye, lo que hiciste no est� bien. Recuerdas aquella noche cuando nos quedamos a medio camino y t� tocaste a una casa para que nos ayudaran? �Qu� hubiera pasado si hubieran hecho lo que t� hiciste hoy?

“�Pero el tipo estaba perdido de borracho!”

“No importa, el hecho es que necesitaba tu ayuda.”

As� que el marido se levanta otra vez de la cama, se viste, baja las escaleras y abre la puerta. Como no ve al desconocido por ning�n lado, grita: “Oiga, �todav�a necesita un empujoncito?”

Y escucha a alguien gritar: “�S�, por favor!”

Todav�a sin localizar al borracho, el tipo grita: “�D�nde est�s?”

Y el borracho responde: “Estoy por ac�, en tu columpio.”