My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re
going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished
cleaning!”
My mother taught me RELIGION – “You better pray that will come
out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten
up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me FORESIGHT – “Make sure you wear clean
underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
My mother taught me IRONY – “Keep laughing and I’ll *give* you
something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS – “Shut your
mouth and eat your supper!”
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM -“Will you *look* at the
dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about STAMINA – “You’ll sit there ’til all
that spinach is finished.”
My mother taught me about WEATHER – “It looks as if a tornado
swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS – “If I yelled
because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?”
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY – “If I’ve told you once,
I’ve told you a million times – Don’t exaggerate!!!”
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -“I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION – “Stop acting
like your father!”
My mother taught me about ENVY – “There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful
parents like you do!”
THANKS, MOM!
Have a great day!