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Murphys 1st Law: If anything can go wrong, it will Murphys 2nd Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks Murphys 3rd Law: Everything takes longer than you think Murphys 4th Law: If theres a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will. Murphys 5th Law: Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first Murphys 6th Law: Every solution breeds a new problem Murphys 7th Law: Its immposible to make something foolproof as fools are so ingenious. Murphys 8th Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. Murphys 9th Law: Left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse Murphys 10th Law: When things just cant get any worse, they will O’Toole’s Law: Murphy was an opptomist. Forsythes Corollary to Murphys Law: Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in. The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something if its good it will go away, if it is bad it wil happen Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results, positive expectations yield negative results Etorres Observation: The other queue always moves faster Barths Distinction: There are two types of people. Those who divide people into 2 types of people, and those who dont. Segals Law: A man with 1 watch always knows what time it is, a man with 2 is never sure Fabers 4th Law: Nessesity is the mother of strange bedfellows Simons Law: Everything put together sooner or later falls apart Scotts 1st Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right Scotts 2nd Law: When an error has been detected and corrected it will be found to have been correct in the first place Finagles Law: Once a job has been fowled up, almost everything done to improve it only makes it worse. Buggings Law: A man that can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on Gumpersons Law: The probability of anything happening is the inverse of its desirability Stockmayers Law: If it looks easy it is tough, if it looks tough it is immposible Hofstadters Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadters law into account Any horse which has won all of its races will lose as soon as you bet on it Agnes Allens Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of. Andersons Law: I have yet to see any problems however complicated which, when you looked at it the right way didnt become more complicated Borens guidlines for bureacracy: When in charge, ponder; when in trouble, delegate; when in doubt, mumble Corcorans Law: All papers that you keep will never be needed until you dispose of them, when they become essential Jonses Law: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate Johnsons Law of Car Repair: Any tool dropped while repairing a car will role under the vehicle to the exact geographical center Wolfs Law: Those who dont study the past will repeat its errors, those who do study it will find new ones. Also contrary to other thoughts Coles Law is not a life law at all, it is slices cabbage.

Who are the five most constipated men in the Old Testament?
1) Cain wasn’t Abel.
2) Moses went up onto the mountain and took two tablets.
3) King David sat on the throne for forty years.
4) Solomon – neither heaven nor Earth could move him.
5) Noah was at sea for forty days and forty nights and all he passed was water.

What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Una lora iba a ser bautizada, pero un d�a antes la lora le dijo a madre que si pod�a salir a dar una vuelta y ella le dijo:

“Solo si prometes no memorizarte nada.”

Y la lora distra�da dice:

“Lo que tu digas.”

Minutos m�s tarde la lora va volando y escucha a un tipo hech�ndose un baldado de agua y este dice: “QUE HIJUEPUTA AGUA TAN FRIA’ y la lora se lo memoriz�. M�s adelante en una pelea un hombre le lanza un pu�etazo al otro y al �ste esquivarlo dice “MARICA, SI NO ME AGACHO ME LO PEGAS” y la lora se lo memoriz�. Despu�s, en un campo un paisano arriando unas vacas grita “ARRE, HIJUEPUTAS, ARRE”. Tras esto una vaca cae y otro paisa le grita “METANLE UN REJO POR EL CULO A VER SI SE DESPIERTA” y la lora se lo graba todo.

Al otro d�a en la iglesia el padre le da el agua bendita a la lora y �sta al sentirla dice “QUE HIJUEPUTA AGUA TAN FRIA”. El padre al oir esto le lanza la biblia y la lora dice “MARICA, SI NO ME AGACHO ME LO PEGAS”

Todo el mundo forma un alboroto incrible y la lora grita “ARRE, HIJUEPUTAS, ARRE”.

Al oir esto la madre se desmaya y la lora finalmente grita:

“METANLE UN REJO POR EL CULO A VER SI SE DESPIERTA.”