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Father Pat and Father Mike were riding down the highway with Father Pat at the wheel. Mileage was being ticked off pretty well when suddenly a little rabbit jumped up onto the highway right in front of the car.
Father Pat did everything he could to miss the little bunny, he wrenched the wheel around, jammed on the brakes, and almost tipped the car over with his maneuvers, but to no avail….the rabbit was hit before the car could be stopped.

Both priests jumped out of the car, ran back to the rabbit to see if there was anything that could be done, but alas, it appeared that the rabbit was gone.

Father Pat pulled a bottle out of his pocket, sprinkled a few drops of the liquid on the rabbit, and instantly it jumped up and started waving vigorously.

Father Mike looked at Father Pat and said, “It’s a miracle!” The rabbit stood there and continued to wave at them. Since it appeared that nothing else was needed, the two priests returned to the car, and Father Pat continued down the road. Father Mike kept looking out the back window and, for as long as he could see the rabbit, it was still standing there and waving.

When the rabbit was out of sight, Father Mike sat back and considered the sequence of events. Finally he said, “Father Pat, just what was in that bottle?”

In response, Father Pat pulled the bottle out of his pocket once more and handed it to Father Mike who read the label:

“Hair Restorer with Permanent Wave”

A man’s daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her
father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head
propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed. The minister
assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit.

”I guess you were expecting me,” he said. ”No, who are you?” said the
father. The minister told him his name and then remarked, ”I see the empty
chair; I figured you knew I was going to show up.” ”Oh yea, the chair,” said
the bed ridden man. ”Would you mind closing the door?” Puzzled, the minister
shut the door.

”I have never told anyone this not even my daughter,” said the man, ”but
all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the
pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head.” ”I abandoned any
attempt at prayer,” the old man continued, ”until one day about four years ago
my best friend said to me ‘Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a
conversation with Jesus. Here am what I suggest.”

”Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see
Jesus on the chair. It’s not spooky, because he promised, ”I’ll be with you
always.” Then just speak to him in the same way you’re doing with me. Right
now.” ”So, I tried it and I’ve liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours
every day. I’m careful though, if my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair,
she’d either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm.”

The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to
continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and
returned to the church. Two nights later the daughter called to tell the
minister that her Daddy had died that afternoon. ”Did he die in peace?” he
asked.

”Yes, and when I left the house about two o’clock, he called me over to his
bedside and told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from
the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange about
his death.” ”Apparently just before daddy died he leaned over and rested his
head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?”

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, ”I wish we could all go like
that.”

Dead Seagull

A woman went to the beach with her children.

Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore
where a dead seagull lay in the sand.

“Mommy, what happened to him?” the little boy asked.

“He died and went to heaven,” she replied.

The child thought for a moment and said, “And God threw him back down?”

Sometimes … when you cry … no one sees your tears …
Sometimes…when you are worried….no one sees your pain…
Sometimes … when you are happy … no one sees your smile …
But fart just one time…