Drug Dealers Vs.

Drug dealers Software developers

Refer to their clients as “users”. Refer to their clients as “users”.

“The first one’s free!” “Download a free trial version…”

Have important South-East Asian Have important South-East Asian
connections(to help move the connections (to help debug the
stuff). code).

Strange jargon:”Stick,” “Rock,” Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,”
“Dime bag,” “E.” “Java,” “ISDN.”

Realize that there’s tons of cash Realize that there’s tons of cash
in the 14- to 25-year-old market. in the 14- to 25-year-old market.

Job is assisted by the industry’s Job is assisted by the industry’s
producing newer, more potent producing newer, faster machines.
mixes.

Often seen in the company of of Often seen in the company of
pimps and hustlers. marketing people and venture
capitalists.

Their product causes unhealthy DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem
addictions. ‘Nuff said.

Do your job well, and you can Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!
sleep with sexy movie stars who
depend on you.

Some last minute requests

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied “Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I’d check out the same way.”

Training courses

Women think they already know everything, but wait… training courses are now available for women in the following subjects:Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.The undiscovered side of banking: Making deposits.Parties: Going without new outfits.Man management: Minor household chores can wait till after the game.Bathroom etiquette i: Men need space in the bathroom cabinet too.Bathroom etiquette ii: His razor is his.Communication skills i: Tears – the last resort, not the first.Communication skills ii: Thinking before speaking.Communication skills iii: Getting what you want without nagging.Driving a car safely: A skill you can acquire.Telephone skills: How to hang up.Advanced parking: Backing into a space.Water retention: Fact or fat. Cooking i: Bringing back bacon, eggs and butter. Cooking ii: Bran and tofu are not for human consumption. Cooking iii: How not to inflict your diets on other people. Compliments: Accepting them gracefully. PMS: Your problem… not his. Dancing: Why men don’t like to. Classic clothing: Wearing outfits you already have. Household dust: A harmless natural occurrence only women notice. Integrating your laundry: Washing it all together. Oil and gas: Your car needs both. TV remotes: For men only.