Men…STOP…it’s fruitless!

*** You just can’t win, and here are the reasons why: ***

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp. If you don’t, you’re insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re a sexist. If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

had to be a blonde!

So there are three girls that escaped from jail;a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. So the three girls escape and go into a barn close by. The brunette goes with the pigs, the redhead goes with the chickens, and the blonde goes in the corn field. The police arrive at the barn and look in the pigpen and ask if anyone is in there and the brunnete goes oink, oink, oink. so then they check the chickens and ask if anyone is in there and the redhead goes bawk, bawk, bawk. then they check in the cornfield and ask if anyone is in there and the blonde goes corn, corn, corn.

En un jard�n de ni�os

En un jard�n de ni�os el tema era �en qu� trabajan sus pap�s?

Y la maestra le pregunta a juanito:

“Juanito, �en qu� trabaja tu pap�?

“Mi pap� es un gran piloto.”

La maestra le aplaude y le pregunta a Rosa:

“Rosita �en qu� trabaja tu pap�?”

“Mi pap� es un gran doctor.”

Finalmente le pregunta al ultimo ni�o:

“Miguelito �en qu� trabaja tu pap�?

“Bueno, maestra, mi pap� es… es… est� bien, mi pap� es desnudista en un bar gay.”

La maestra sorprendida le dice a los ni�os:

“�Al recreo!”

Y se quedan Miguelito y Rosita solos en el sal�n, y Rosita le pregunta a Miguelito:

“Miguelito, en serio tu pap� es desnudista en un bar gay?”

“No.”

“�Entonces por qu� dijiste eso?”

Y miguelito le contesta:

“Es que me dio verg�enza decir que es pol�tico.”