Author: admin

After much research it was discovered that Van Gogh had many
relatives. Here are a few:

His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh
His prune eating brother: Gotta Gogh
His constipated uncle: Can’t Gogh
His brother that worked in a convenient store: Stopn Gogh
His Yugoslavian grandpa: U. Gogh
His brother that liked to bleach his clothes: Hue Gogh
His cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh
His uncle who was a magician: Wherediddy
His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh
His Mexican cousin’s American half-brother: Grin Gogh
His ballroom dancing aunt: Tang Gogh
His sister that liked disco: Go Gogh
His stagecoach driving nephew: Wellsfar Gogh
His bird loving uncle: Flamin Gogh
His nephew that is a psychoanalyst: E. Gogh
His fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh
His aunt that taught positive thinking: Wayda Gogh
His extremely bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh
His neice that drives the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh

A guy is nearing the end of his senior year of high school.
Unfortunetly, he still has to share a room with his younger
brother, who is only 9 years old. One night, He decides to bring
his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and
the guy notices that his little brother is already alseep on the
lower bunk. As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy
remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
his girlfriend to whisper “lettuce” if she wants it harder and
“tomato” if she wants a new position.
“Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!”
She screams.
“Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW!!I cant get pregnant!”
Then the little brother Shouts up, “Hey, would you guys stop
making sandwiches up there! Your getting mayonnaise all over my
face!*!*!*!*!

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit’s end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father replied, “Sure, do that before I kill them!” The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest. The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, “Where is God?” The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing. Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, “Where is God?” Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy’s nose, and asked, “Where is God?”The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, “We are in BIG trouble!” The older boy asked, “What do you mean, BIG trouble?”His brother replied, “God is missing and they think we did it.”

Russian woman walked into an empty Moscow shop. I see you have no vegetables today.””No”, said the shopkeeper, “this is a butcher shop. It’s meat we haven’t got. The shop with no vegetables is further down the street.”