Author: admin

None. hes all natural

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff
several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was
to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks
who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the
steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly
nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was
suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk
who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it
breaks.”

En una taberna del viejo Oeste, se encontraba un vaquero bebiendo cuando un indio llega y dice:

“Tengo una historia que nunca has escuchado”.

El vaquero, curioso, responde:

“Cu�ntamela”.

“Iba yo por las monta�as en busca de caza, y de pronto encontr� un gran ciervo, saqu� mi arco, y pan. Le di en todo el tomax”.

Extra�ado, el vaquero pregunta:

“�Tomax? �Qu� tomax?”

“Un g�isqui”, se apresura a responder el indio.

El cowboy se siente estafado y comienza a cabrearse, pero el indio prosigue su historia mientras se acaba el whisky:

“Pero segu� m�s adelante, y en la pradera vi a un gran bisonte, raudo cog� mi arco y de certera flecha, le di en todo el bebex”.

“�Bebex? �Qu� bebex?”, pregunta la v�ctima.

“Otro g�isqui”, responde r�pido el indio.

Esto agota la paciencia del vaquero y le dispara, cayendo el indio al suelo muerto. El camarero que vio toda la escena le reclama muy preocupado al vaquero:

“�Pero qu� has hecho, era un indio de la tribu de los indios gorrones, y como vengan te vas a enterar!”

“No me dan miedo”, asegura valiente el vaquero.

Acto seguido lleg� la tribu de los indios gorrones al sal�n. Entonces uno de ellos habl�:

“�Qui�n ha sido el que ha matado a Toro Mangado?”

El cowboy levanta la mano y acepta:

“Yo”.

“�T� solo?”, pregunta el indio gorr�n.

“S�”.

“Pues nosotros con leche”, dicen a coro los dem�s indios.

14> “Trust me. Even if you look like a bloated troll, chicks dig billionaires.”

13> “Don’t be fooled by his naked antics — Richard Hatch over in Marketing is up to no good.”

12> “Keep your hands off Carolyn, but George, well, that’s another story.”

11> “Secret code phrase to utter if you ever notice my fly down during a board meeting: ‘Sir, are you ready for your PowerPoint presentation?'”

10> “Lowe’s has better prices on shellac than Home Depot.”

9> “Wait until the bankers leave the room before starting your victory macarena.”

8> “You’re fired! Ha, ha, ha. No, really. You’re fired, too!”

7> “Don’t bother giving other drivers the finger when you get cut off. Have your chauffeur do it.”

6> “You’re never too young for a comb-over.”

5> “Never, EVER schedule me for an interview with Barbara Walters. I am not now, nor do I ever intend to be, ‘Mista Twump.'”

4> “Never blur the line between servility and civility.”

3> “Plant your corn early. Yeah, I never understood that one either when I was growing up.”

2> “After a long, *successful* day with the boss, only the *medicated* Chapstick will do.”

1> “If you think the selection process compromised your integrity, wait until you’re actually WORKING for me.”

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]