How do you know if a blonde has used your computer
There is all white out all over the screen
Author: admin
Glass wall
Q:why did the blonde climb over the glass wall??
A: to see the other side!!
Scientist
What do you call a computer scientist? It doesn’t matter what you call him. He’s too involved with the computer to come anyway.
Cum on the Elevator Floor
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they
walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor
of the elevator. The brunette bends down for a closer look, and
states, very matter-of-factly, “It looks like cum.” The redhead
stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her
nose, and proclaims, “Yes, and it smells like cum.” The blonde
stoops down yet closer, puts the tip of her finger into the
puddle, touches it to her tongue and exclaims, “Well, its nobody
from our building.”
Around The World In …
Your momma is so fat . . .
She was the first person to go around the world in 80 meals.
The big test!
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table… then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The father’s plan was: “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a drunkard.”
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left.
Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality …then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said: “Darn, it’s even worse than I could ever have imagined.. ” “Our son is going to be a politician!”
Nice Cow
There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890’s whose wornout body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined.
But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed te kitchen to spike the milk three times a day. Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour.
As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.
“Oh, yes,” she replied. “Never sell that cow!”
teeth
If your toddler has more teeth than you, you might just be a redneck.
The New Birth Control Product
The FDA announced today the approval of a new birth control product. The package combines an Early Pregnancy Test kit (or EPT) with the new French abortion pill, RU-486.
The product will be marketed by Dow chemical under the shelf name of “Check and Chuck!!”
Orange,Bannana,Dick
One day a bannana, orange and dick sat down. the orange said i
have the worst life, i get peeled and then get pissed on. THe
bannana said i have th worst life i get peeled pissed on and
eaten. the dick said i go into dark caves and do push ups until
i throw up.
The Top 13 Signs a Video Game Is Too Realistic (Part II)
13> Every time you attempt to take on the evil Church of Science empire, it files a lawsuit and gets a restraining order.
12> When you finally turn off your “Vice City” game, you find your bed has a severed horse head in it.
11> Your current high score is used to calculate the Department of Homeland Security’s national threat level.
10> Automatic withholding of 28% of your bonus points.
9> After three hours of “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” you decide to watch a little TV — only to discover that you’re the lead story on “America’s Most Wanted.”
8> A little John Ashcroft icon hangs in the corner of the screen, watching your every move.
7> Every time you bump the car in front of you in “NASCAR 2003,” your keyboard’s airbag smacks you in the face.
6> Ms. Pac-Man refuses to do much of anything until her PMS eases up.
5> The decaying zombie carcasses smell worse than your room does.
4> Every time you play, the same sick feeling of hopelessness and despair descends on you, leaving you unab– oh, wait, that’s Quicken.
3> Bill Bennett’s got $1,000 riding on the outcome.
2> Donkey Kong only seems to have two moves this time: throwing poop and masturbating.
1> Try as you might, you can’t seem to find the frighteningly destructive weapons the bad guy’s supposed to have.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
A blonde a burnnette and a redhead
a blonde burnnette and a redhead are walking in the park when the redhead says duck and they got hit in the head by an anchor.