Author: admin

A woman is lying in the road after being run over. The driver of the car that knocked her down comes to her aid.”Are you all right?” he asks.”You’re just a blur,” she says, “So my sight is clearly affected.”Concerned, the driver leans over the woman in order to test her eyesight.”How many fingers have I got up?” he asks her.”Oh shit!” she replies, “I must be paralysed from the waist down as well.”

A fellow went to work one day and was met at the door by his boss. “You’re
fired, and there may be a summons for your arrest out of this!” the boss
exclaimed.

The fellow then started to drive home when the steering went out
on his car and he ran into a carload of nuns. After the policeman let him
go with the collection of tickets, he called his insurance company, only to
find out that his wife forgot to send in the premium payment and that his
insurance ran out last week.

On his way home, he stopped into the bank to get some money and found
out that his wife had been there earlier with his best friend and
emptied the accounts. After leaving the bank, he was on his way home and
saw the fire engines heading down his street. Upon arriving
at his house, he discovered that it was indeed his house on fire. The fire
chief was sure that it was going to be a total loss. Again, calling the
insurance company, he found that the homeowner’s insurance also had been
cancelled.

By now the fellow was somewhat depressed and went into the local
bar. As he was telling his troubles to the bartender the bartender said,
“You’ve got the chance of a lifetime. All your obligations are gone and you
can start all over. Why don’t you take this bucket, go up to Huckleberry
Hill,
pick huckleberries, and go door to door selling them.”

Well, this sounded O.K. to the fellow, so off he went. After picking
most of the day he finally had enough berries to sell. At the first house
he
stopped at the woman said that she would indeed take all his huckleberries
but would he mind coming around to the back door. As the fellow got to the
back door the woman opened it and was totally nude. (And not hard on the
eyes.)

The fellow just broke down and was weeping hysterically. The woman was
quite
beside herself and asked what the problem was. The fellow answered “I’ve
lost
my job, my car is ruined, my wife ran off with my best friend taking all my
money, my house burned down, all my insurance has been cancelled, and now
I’m going to be screwed out of my huckleberries.”