Author: admin

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one holding onto their “wee wees” to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, “You must be in the 5th grade.”

“No, ma’am,” he replied. “I’m the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Tres cubanos reci�n llegados a Miami van a pasar el fin de semana en Busch Gardens. El domingo, ya de regreso, al llegar la estaci�n del tren en Tampa, el m�s viejo de los tres le pide a uno:

“Oye, t� chico, anda y preg�ntale al moreno aquel a qu� hora sale el tren para Miami”.

“Pero si yo no hablo ingl�s, chico”.

“Ve y hazle una se�a. Hazte entender”.

Va el cubano donde el negro y le se�ala el reloj. El tipo le responde:

“Nine ten”.

Regresa y les informa a los dem�s:

“Eh, chicos, el negro dice que no hay tren”.

“�C�mo es que no va ha haber tren? �Qu� t� no ves el gent�o que est� aqu� esperando?”

“Anda t�”, le dice al otro.

Va el otro y le hace la misma se�a. El negro, ya molesto, le grita:

“Nine ten, nine ten!”

Regresa y les confirma:

“Efectivamente, el negro dice que no hay tren”.

“�Co�o, chicos, ustedes son un par de tontos, voy a tener que ir yo!”

Va el m�s viejo; hace la misma se�a y el negro que ya explota ruge:

“Fuck you son of a bitch, nine ten! Nine ten!”

“��iganme, chicos, ten�an raz�n, parece que a la m�quina se le jodi� un foco en Miami Beach y no hay tren!”

once upon a time there was an old married couple they had been married for 50 years and it was they’re anniversary it’s our anniversary said the little old lady and I will grant you one wish’ so the little old man thought of his wish and then he said “give me a blowjob” and the little old lady agreed afterwards the little old man asked “now is there anything I can grant you?””give me a kiss!”

Quotes taken from actual employee evaluations:

1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”
4. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
5. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
6. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.”
7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
9. “This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts, the better.”

Two guy walked into a bar, they were both gay. So John walked in and fucked hem both in the ass.