First man: My wife eats like a bird.
Second man: You mean she hardly eats a thing?
First man: No, she eats slugs and worms.
Author: admin
Priority Approach
A military pilot urgently called ATC for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running “a bit peaked.” His one engine was shutting down.
ATC told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 bomber that had one of his eight engines shut down.
“Ah,” the pilot remarked, “the dreaded seven-engine approach!”
Boldly going forward because we
Boldly going forward because we cannot find reverse.
Star Ship enterprise
Why is the Star Ship Enterprise like a toilet roll????
Because it flies around Uranus looking for cling ons!
MONEY FROM HOME
A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because
he ran out of it. His mom said, “Sure, sweetie. I’ll will send you some money.
You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want
me to send that up too?”
“Uhh, oh yeah, okay,” responded the kid.
So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to
the post office to mail the money and the book.
When she gets back, her husband asked, “Well how much did you give the boy his
time?”
She said, “Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out
to him.”
“That’s $1020!” yelled her husband. Are you crazy?”
“Don’t worry, Hon,” she said. “I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book,
but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!”
Hac�a meses que el barco
Hac�a meses que el barco se encontraba en alta mar, y todos los d�as la tripulaci�n le preguntaba al vig�a:
“�Y cu�ndo?”
Hasta que una ma�ana el vig�a grita:
“Ti-ti-ti-ti…”
Y en el acto, toda la tripulaci�n se lanz� al agua de contentos. Entonces el vig�a continua:
“�Ti-ti-ti tiburones!”
Fax??
This blonde is so dumb she sent a fax with stamp on it!! LOL HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Can little girls have babies
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls
have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”
Plumbers
A pipe burst in a lawyer’s house, so he called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.
The lawyer exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!”
The plumber replied sympathetically, “Neither did I when I was a lawyer.”
Clever Pupil
Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?”Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.”Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?”Son: “Who threw the eraser at the teacher”
You might be a redneck if…jeans
You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather then hem them.
Eskimo
One of God’s Frozen children.