With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society. (This is making the rounds.)
DIRECTRA – A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask for directions when they got lost, compared to a control group where only 0.2 percent asked for directions.
PROJECTRA – Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
CHILDAGRA – Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks — especially cleaning up spills and little accidents.
COMPLIMENTRA – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store’s return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA – Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA – This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
CAPAGRA – Caused test subjects to become uncharacteristically fastidious about lowering toilet seats and replacing toothpaste caps. Subjects on higher doses were seen dusting furniture.
PRYAGRA – About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into special prosecutors.
LIAGRA – This drug causes men to be less than truthful when they are asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.