Youy momma is so stupid she sits on the T.V and watches the couch.
Author: admin
Worries about a risk
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks.”
Un ni�o todos los dias
Un ni�o todos los dias molestaba a otro dici�ndole:
“Oye, Pedro �conoces a Juan?”
A lo que el otro le respond�a:
“�Qu� Juan?”
Y el primer ni�o con una soberbia carcajada le dec�a:
“Ag�rrame los huevos que se me van.”
Esto pas� por varios d�as hasta que el ni�o le dijo a su mam� que as� lo molestaban y la mam� le dijo:
“La pr�xima vez que te lo encuentres tu le dices as�: le preguntas por un tal Ernesto y cuando te diga �qu� Ernesto? tu le dices Ag�rrame estos…”
Y al otro d�a el ni�o va contento porque se iba a desquitar y se encuentra al ni�o que lo molestaba y le dice:
“Oye, �y tu conoces a Ernesto?”
Y el ni�o m�s abusado le dice:
“Ah s�, el primo de Juan…”
“�Qu� Juan?”
Children and Cars
Children in the back of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back of the car cause children.
Star Ship enterprise
Why is the Star Ship Enterprise like a toilet roll????
Because it flies around Uranus looking for cling ons!
4 Wives
The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking together about how a penis is called in their language.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.
Well, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth.
Trout fishing
Two irishmen in the pub,one says to the other lets go trout fishing i know a place what i heard about .His mate agrees and off they go–he says to his mate hang me over the bridge with my legs and ill tickle the trout its easy,after about half hour he said paddy pull me up quick,quick-he replied why have you got one -he said no theres a bloody train coming.
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?A: None of them, two don’t exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
You might be a redneck if…………….
You might be a redneck if walker texas ranger changed your life.
Priority Approach
A military pilot urgently called ATC for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running “a bit peaked.” His one engine was shutting down.
ATC told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 bomber that had one of his eight engines shut down.
“Ah,” the pilot remarked, “the dreaded seven-engine approach!”
Eskimo
One of God’s Frozen children.
Lost Sperm
There are two sperm and they’re swimming and swimming and swimming for what seems like forever. They’re starting to get tired and one sperm says to the other, “Do you think we should pull over and ask for directions?”The other sperm replies, “Naaaahhhhh, we can find it.” So, they keep swimming. Finally, they see another sperm, who’s looks almost dead, and decide to stop and ask for directions. They ask, “Do you think you can help us get to where we are going?” The almost dead sperm says, “I’ll try, where ya going?”The two sperms reply, “Well, we’re trying to find the fallopian tubes so that we can try and fertilise the egg.”The almost dead sperm just starts laughing. The other two sperms look at one another, somewhat confused, and ask, “What’s so funny?”The almost dead sperm finally regains his composure and replies, “Well, you guys have a long way to go…… you’re still in the oesophagus.”