On top of Mount Everest.
All covered with sand.
I shot my poor sister.
With a red rubber band.
I shot her with glory.
I shot her with pride.
How could have I missed her.
Shes fifty-feet wide.
I went to her funeral.
I went to her grave.
Some people threw flowers.
I threw a grenade.
I opened her coffin.
She didnt look dead.
So i took a bazooca.
And blew off her head!!!!!!!
Author: admin
I think we should really
I think we should really add to the confusion… Let’s call in (Insert Your Favorite Group – Engineering/Financial…)
A quote on marriage
If you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children…” – they leave skid marks. — Rita Rudner
Close
“Paula Jones….Close But NO CIGAR!!”
Priests undies
Why did the Priest wear underwear in the shower?
He didn’t want to look down on the unemployed
For your convenience our staff
For your convenience our staff is fluent in monosyllabic grunts.
Even a broken clock is
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Pastor School
There were these 12 guys that were going to school to become
priests, and they were almost to the point of passing the class.
There was only one step left: they had to learn to resist
temptation. The teacher brings them to a dark room with no
windows, tells them to get naked, and they have to tie bells
around their penis’.
The teacher brings in a naked dancing girl, and tells them, if
you’re bell rings, you haven’t yet learned to resist temptation,
so you’ll be kicked out of this school.
The girl starts dancing, and one guy’s bell just starts ringing
like crazy. It rings so hard that it falls completly off. He
takes two steps forward, bends down, and 11 other bells go off.
The beach
One day a man and a lady decided to go to a nude beach and they had to bring along their 10 year old daughter. Well while the three were walking to their hotel room the daughter asked her parents what were the other men and women were doing and they told her that they were making a cake.So that night the mother and the father were in the room while the daughter was sleep in the livingroom of the hotel. And the daughter heard the noises of the so called”Cake baking”. When they got up in the mornig the daughter asked the mother and the father what was all the noises and they told her they was baking a cake and she said well I licked all the iceing off the cake.
I-lean
yo momma got one leg,and one eye.So they call her i-lean
‘Twas The Night Before Xmas- Redneck
‘Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin’ ‘Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin’ down his chin Was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.
That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin’ on 10; Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:
The twins were both girls So they let them be.
They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.
Bubba said to the young’uns, “Now hesh up ya’ll!
The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw.”
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the door without making a peep.
They all looked around, and then they all spit.
The young’uns asked Bubba, “Paw, what is it?”
Bubba just stared; He could not say a word.
This was just like all of the stories he’d heard.
It was Santy Claus on the roof, Darn tootin’
But the boys didn’t know; They was about to start shootin’!
They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake
That would have resulted in venison steak.
Bubba hollered out, “Don’t shoot, boys!”
That’s Santy Claus And he’s brought us some toys.
The dogs were a-barkin’ And a-raisin’ cain,
And Bubba whistled, and shouted, And called them by name.
“Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! Quiet, Pete and Roscoe!
Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and Bosco!”
“Git down from that porch! Git down off that wall!
Quit shakin the trailer, Or you’ll make Santy fall!”
The dogs kept a-barkin’ And wouldn’t shut up,
And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup.
Santy opened his bag, And threw out some toys.
Bubba got most, But left a few for the boys.
Since the guns had been dropped He just might not die.
He jumped in his sleigh, Told his reindeer to hurry.
The trailer started to wobble Santa started to worry.
Just as the reindeer Got into the air,
The trailer collapsed, But Bubba didn’t care.
He was busy lookin’ At all his new toys.
Then a thought hit him, And he said to the boys:
“Go check on yer Maw, Make sure she’s all right.
That roof fallin’ on her Could-a hurt just a might.”
But Maw was OK, And the girls were too.
They fixed up the trailer; It looked good as new.
And as for Bubba, He liked Old St. Nick,
But Santa thought Bubba Was a pure-in-tee hick!
Bubba had a nice Christmas, And the boys did, too.
And the Taylors wish A Merry Christmas to you!
New T.V
Youy momma is so stupid she sits on the T.V and watches the couch.