Person: I think our fax machine is out of ink. I just sent a customer a fax and when they received it all they got was a blank piece of paper.
Me (Trying to keep a straight face): Maybe the phone line has a hole in it, and all the ink ran out along the way.
“I told you the Internet was hot!”
Guy calls in..
Me. “How can I help you?”
G. I INSTALLED YOUR SOFTWARE ON MY COMPUTER AND NOW IT’S ON FIRE!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Me. The computer is on fire right now?
G. YES!
Me. Um…Put the fire out.
Once he had put the fire out with some water and we explained to him that nothing he put in his computer was at fault for it catching on fire he hung up and never called back. He cancelled his account two days later.
[This one isn’t quite as silly as it is proof that the tech usually knows more than you. This guy knew just enough to be dangerous. It cost us and him big time due to his pride.]
Guy calls in…
Me. Can I help you?
G. I can send email but I can’t receive it.
After verifying on our end that username and password were correct and the acct was working
Me. Ok, are you in *email client name*
G. Yes
Me. Ok, click on Mail Servers.Now retype your username.
G. OK,
Me. Try again
G. It still gives me the error.
We spend about 45 minutes trying everything I can think of including asking him to very slowly and carefully retype it ensuring that his username was in lowercase. He finally gives up and says he will call back tomorrow. After talking with another tech the next day he agrees to on-site service
*Yes we do that*.
5 minutes on-site and we find a SPACE in front of his username. The mail server didn’t recognize ” username” only “username” and therefore gave him the error.
When asked how it could be there after re-typing it so many times he said. “Well it looked right so I never actually re-typed it. I just said I did.”