Author: admin

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out
some of the rules:

“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the
male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will
be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be
fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there
any questions?”

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season
pass?”

A Message From Your Computer:

You look really sexy in that…thing you’ve got on tonight. I

like the way your eyes are always open when you read your

E-Mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist

tinkling on her keys.

You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on.

If I wasn’t a computer, I’d show you what “Hard Drive” really

means!

But Alas, I’m only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying

your every command. Yes mistress! I’ll balance your cheque-

book. Yes mistress! I’ll run your silly little program.

Don’t get me wrong…I like the Master/Slave thing, but

maybe just once in a while you could show some

compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in,

you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot

first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off

when you’re through, we could talk for a while afterwards?

I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I’m

different! I may be a little slow, but I’ve got a big mouse!

So come on baby, don’t fight it. You know you want it. I’ll

just turn off the lights and . . . and . . . what? Ok . . .well, will

you at least think about it?

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school’s long time Custodian, “Do you think it’s wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?”

The Custodian looked at him gravely ….. “We trust them with the children, don’t we?”