Even the future’s not what it used to be.
Author: admin
What do you say to
What do you say to a baby Jewish American Princess?
Gucci Gucci Goo
Seagulls
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be called baygulls!
(baygull-bagel. ha ha ha.)
Blondes are like…
Blondes are like vaccuum cleaners: They suck, they blow, and they get laid in a closet!Blondes are likes bowling balls: you pick them up, finger them, throw them in the gutter and they comd back for more!
Back in the Closet
A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl, and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her.She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, “I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?” He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish but from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, “What is her name?” He answers, “Monica Lewinsky.”There is a pause, then his mother asks, “What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?”
Animal Crackers
When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.
“What are you doing?” his mom asked.
“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”
A husband is someone who
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he
just cleaned the whole house.
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
Quick Thinker
Two guys in a pickup truck were driving home one day, when they see a dirt road that was big enough for only one vehicle. They debated a while whether or not to explore what was down there. In the end, they decided to go for it.
After driving down the road for a while, they saw a blonde standing on the side of the road. She asked for a ride, and they agreed, so she hopped in the back of truck. They continued driving down the road, when all of a sudden a semi-truck was coming right towards them. They swerved off the road and ended up in a river.
The two guys got out in time, but they didn’t see the blonde. They started to think the worst and feared she died. A few minutes later, she suddenly appeared and they incredulously asked her what happened. She said, “I couldn’t get the tailgate open.”
Beandip
what do you call a mexican babptism?
Answer:bean dip
To get to the car accident on the other side
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
The faster the plane, the
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
Bowling again
It’s after dinner when a man realizes he’s out of cigarettes.
He decides to pop down to the local bar for a pack, telling his wife he’ll be right back.
He’s persuaded by the bartender to share a cold one. As he’s nursing it a gorgeous blond comes in the door, but he looks the other way.
She comes over and sits down. One thing leads to another and she invites him home.
Back at her place they screw like rabbits until the next thing he knows it’s four o’clock in the morning. Jumping out of bed, he shakes the woman awake, asking if she has any baby powder.
“In the bathroom cabinet” she says.
He dusts his hands, drives home at ninety, and pulls into the driveway to find his wife waiting up for him, rolling pin in hand.
“So where the hell have you been?” she screams.
“Well, you see honey,” he stammers, “I only went out for cigarettes, but Jake offered me a beer and then this beautiful blonde walked in and we got to talking and drinking and I ended up back at her place making love…”
“Wait a minute” snapped his wife, “let me see your hands.” Turning on him furiously, she says, “Don’t lie, you rotten little shit…you’ve been bowling again!”