Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.
Author: admin
Why Santa Has No Kids
Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.
Don’t make a fool out
Don’t make a fool out of me – I’m doing OK by myself!
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
Se encontraba Pepito en el
Se encontraba Pepito en el sal�n de clases, junto al resto de sus compa�eros.
Llega la maestra y les informa:
“Ni�os, tengo que salir un momento, en cuanto regrese, quiero que todos hayan hecho un dibujo del �rgano reproductor masculino.”
La maestra se retira del sal�n; Pepito prestamente corre a verificar que la maestra est� lejos. Al ver que ya se hab�a ido, se baja el pantal�n y se dirige a la clase:
��Avancen, ni�as, copien, copien!”
Yo mama is so stupid
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
What is on Bill Gates’ Mind?
Microsoft is at it again! All my life, when I read comics, I thought the
“zzzz” in those little balloons indicated someone was sleeping! Boy, did I
miss the boat, and it took me all these years to figure it out! All that
wasted time!
With the help of Bill Gates (the man who avoided changing the light bulb
by redefining darkness as the standard), I have, indeed, seen the light.
Now, I finally know what all those “sleeping” people in those comics had
on their minds!
If you want to see what I’m babbling about, start your Microsoft Word,
type in “zzzz” (without the quotes, of course) and hit the spell check.
Now you too can be enlightened.
Fun things for professors to do on the first day of class
21. Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required reading for your class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia, for next class.22. Play “Kumbaya” on the banjo.23. Have a band waiting in the corner of the room. When anyone asks a question, have the band start playing and sing an Elvis song. 24. Ask occassional questions, but mutter “as if you gibbering simps would know” and move on before anyone can answer. 25. Mention in passing that you’re wearing rubber underwear. 26. Show a video on medieval torture implements to your calculus class. Giggle throughout it. 27. Announce “you’ll need this”, and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board. 28. Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz. 29. Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as you pace back and forth. 30. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.
I own the fastest car
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”.The dude replies “A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000.””That’s a lotta money!” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?””Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!” states the cool dude proudly.The old man asks “Can I take a look inside?””Sure” replies the owner.So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says “That’s a pretty nice car, alright!”Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!The guy wonders “what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?” Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn’t be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”The old man replies “yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!”
The Genie
A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
“Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
“I would like to be 10% smarter”
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am”
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am”
So the genie turns her into a man!
To Computer: Is there a God?
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.
They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, “IS THERE A GOD?”
Suddenly there was a loud crash, and in a brilliant explosion of silicon and plastic the computers fused into what appeared to the scientists to be one large computer in place of the many smaller ones.
One of the scientists raced to the printer as it finally output its answer.
“There is now”, read the printout.
Retard Goes To School
its the first day of school and a retard has to take the bus the bus rolls by and the doors open and the kid says,” r yoo gunah take mee tu skool todee” and the bus takes off with out the kid.
] the next day the bus comes and the kid says “r yoo gunah take mee tu skool todee”
the bus takes off.
] finally the mom comes with the kid to the bus stop and asks the driver why he keeps driving away with out the kid and the bus driver replys “B kause hez makin fune ov mee”
Curb
Your Momma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a curb!