Yours Fun Portal !
A man walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, I’d like a pint of beer.”
The bartender serves the drink and says, “That’ll be four dollars.”
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
� Sorry, sir,” the bartender says, “but I can’t accept that.”
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again.
“What’s going on here?” the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, “This is a Singles Bar.”
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we all have nicknames for it.
So I named my private part pride……it’s not much but at least I have my pride.
-Jay London
there was a guy looking to hire a hit man he had three peolple to interview 2 men and a women the interviwer said”take this gun and go in that room and shoot who ever is in there” so the man went in then came back out and said”that is my wife i there i cant shoot my wife” so he was out it was time for the next person to undergo the test he was given the same instructions so he went in then came back out and said”imy wife is in there i cant shoot my wife who do u think i am ” so it was up to the women she entered the room thenn u here a BANG BANG then there was CRASH and screaming then she returned from the room and she said “u didnt tell me there was blanks in the gun i had to kill him with the bloody chair !!!!!!
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don’t have film.
El marido sale del ba�o desnudo y empieza a subir a la cama, cuando su mujer se queja diciendo como siempre:
“Tengo dolor de cabeza”.
“Perfecto, casualmente estaba en el ba�o espolvore�ndome el pene con aspirina. La puedes tomar oral o como supositorio… �c�mo tu quieras!”
Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish. the first blonde says, “I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island.” Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. The second sees what happens and says “I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!” She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off. Finally, the third blonde says “I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island.” She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge.
Yo mama middle name is Rambo.
Order your summer�s suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in
strict rotation.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated “If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.” Recently General Motors
addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
“Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?”
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a
new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason,
you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
“Car95” or “CarNT”. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five
percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
there was this boy and he wa in kindergarden and his teacher told the class that thier homework was to go home and find three word to add to thier spelling list and the boy wa walking home he seen this girl said to her said to her brother shut up and then he seen this guy say to his girlfriend come on baby lets go then he seen some kid say superman then he said ok i have my three words for tomarrow.so the next day his teacher said timmy what is your three words he said shut up the teacher said yound man do you want to go to the principles office he said come on baby lets go she said who do you thank you are he aid superman!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
HEY SON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?ASKED DAD
IME JUST PLAYING ? SAID SON
PLAYING WITH WHAT?ASKED DAD
IME PLAYING WITH MY PENIS?SAID SON
WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS?ASKED DAD
JUST MASTRUBATING.SAID SON
CAN I JOIN IN?ASKED DAD
WHAT CAN YOU DO?ASKED SON
I CAN SUCK IT? SAID DAD
SURE I HAVE MY NAKED FRIENDS WITH ME SAID THE 13 YEAR OLD SON
NO PROBLEM, I CAN SUCK ALL OF YOUR COCKS.SAID DAD
HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE ASKED DAD?
JUST 12 FRIENDS SAID SON