There were three nuns. One day the priest said ” if you want to
stay in this convent you have to wash any part of our body you
have touched with a penis. After hearing this the first nun goes
to the bowl ofholy water and washes her hand. The second nun
washes her butt.But the third one refuses to use the water
saying “if you expect
me to gargle that water after she put her butt in it your crazy!”
Author: admin
Special Urination
Q. What does a retard do when he has to piss?
A. Well you should know!
How to cut off a blonde’s ears:
To cut off a blonde’s ears, put razor blades on each shoulder and ask the blond a question.
Automatically the blonde will shake her head from shoulder to shoulder saying “I don’t know.”
Elephant Man
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. How do you breathe through that thing?
The Family Dentist
A husband and wife enter a dentist`s office. The Wife says, “I want a
tooth pulled. I don`t want gas or novocain because I`m in a terrible
hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You`re a brave woman,” says the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it
is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says “Open your mouth and show the
dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
Things You’ll Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational min. salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of beer please.”The barman looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve you.””Why not?” askes the brain.”You’re already out of your head.”
Viajaban tres monjas en un
Viajaban tres monjas en un avi�n y una dice: “En mi pueblo tenemos unas naranjas as� de grandes.” Y acompa�a sus palabras con un gesto de las manos.
La otra dice: “Pues en mi pueblo tenemos unos pl�tanos as� de largos.” Y hace el gesto con las manos.
La otra monjita, que era sorda, dice: “�Ya s� de que hablais! �De los cojones del padre Camilo!”
Someone who thinks logically is
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
3 babies talking.
There were three little babies sitting next to each other in shopping carts in the grocery store check-out line.
The first little baby says, “Ugh, look at this – my mom just bought strained plums!”
The second baby says, “You think that’s bad – my mom just bought strained peas!”
And the third baby says… “You think you guys got it bad?
How would you like to share a breast with a guy that smokes cigars!”
Baking A Cake
A little girl and mother walk into the house to catch the girl’s older brother having sex on the couch with his girl. The girl looks in amazement and asks her mother what her brother was doing. The mother replied “He baking a cake honey.” And sends her upstairs while she talks to the brother about his actions. While in her room, the girl turns on the tv. She flips through the channels to discover on National Geographic two lions having sex. She call to her mother from her room yelling “Mommy come quick, i need to show you something.” The mother rushes upstairs not knowing what to expect.”Yes dear,” the mother replies. “Mommy are the lions baking a cake too?” the little girl amazed at what she had learned. The mother with a sigh agreed,”yes dear, they are baking a cake too.” That morning the little girl came down stairs for breakfast and to ask a question.”Mommy can i ask you a question?” “Yes dear,” the mother replied. “Okay, did you and daddy bake a cake last night?” the girl asked with little to no hesitation. “Yes honey, Why?” the mother replied worried that her little girl had seen something. “Okay good cause I lick the icing off the sheets.”
Aggie Nativity
How come Texas A&M couldn’t put on a nativity scene? Because they couldnt find three wise men or a virgin!