1. I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to
what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the
Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM “thingy.”
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2. I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip
back into itself and for the life of them could not understand
why their computer would not turn on.
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3. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her
car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I
should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker.
Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think that convenience store
would have a battery for it?” “Hmmm, I dunno, but let me see
your keyring for a second.” As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there
and check about the batteries…it’s a long walk.”
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4. Tech Support: “What does the screen say now.”
Person: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support: “Well?”
Person: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
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5. Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift.
One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m
almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier
machine paper,” she told him. With that, the intern took his
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier
and proceeded to make five blank copies.
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6. One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed
to type a path name to a directory named “i386.” He started to
type it and paused, asking me, “Where’s the key for that line
thingy?, you know, the one that looks like an upside down
exclamation mark.” I replied, “You mean the letter “i?” …and
he said, “Yeah, that’s it!”
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7. I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motor
home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the cruise control, and had then
gone back to make himself a sandwich.
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8. When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been
accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and
found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side
door. I instinctively tried the door handle on the passenger’s
side and discovered it was open. “Hey,” I announced to the
technician, “It’s open!” “I know,” answered the young man. “I
already got that side…I’ll have the driver’s door open in just
another couple of minutes.”
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9. 1st Person: “Do you know anything about this fax machine?”
2nd Person: “A little. What’s wrong?”
1st Person: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back
to say all she received was a cover sheet and a blank page.
2nd Person: “How did you load the sheet?”
1st Person: “It’s a pretty sensitive memo that I didn’t want
anyone else to read, so I folded it in half so that only the
recipient would open it and read it.”