You are just like a Pringles can, once i pop you i cant stop you.
Author: admin
Confidence is the feeling you
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
Polak Lunch
There are three construction workers on top of a building having lunch. One Italian, one Polak, and one Oriental.
The Italian has a meatball hero, the Oriental has noodles, and the Polak has knockwurst. The Italian and the Oriental are tired of having the same lunches everyday. The Italian says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building. The Oriental says that if he gets noodles tommorow he will also throw it off the building. The Polak says that if he gets knockwurst tommorow he will throw it off the building.
Sure enough the Italian and Oriental workers open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and noodles respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. The Polak then throws his sandwich off the building.
The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knockwurst again without even looking.
He responded by saying, “Because I pack my own lunch.”
Est�n dos enamorados bailando bien
Est�n dos enamorados bailando bien pegados. El novio le dice a la novia:
“Mar�a, cada vez que bailo contigo bien pegado siento que el coraz�n se me sale”.
Y le contesta la novia:
“�Ay, Pedro, t� si que tienes el coraz�n bien abajo!”
Is Sex Work or Play?
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible,” My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays.”
The man thinks: “What does a priest know of sex?”
He goes to minister… a married man, experienced.. for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply.. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath!
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge…A Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question and states, “My son, sex is definitely play.”
The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?!”
The Rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work…my wife would have the maid do it.”
Many Uses of Hairspray
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, ‘Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole. ‘The grandfather replies, ‘I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole. ‘The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, ‘Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars. ‘The grandfather replies, ‘I know. That’s from your grandma.’
Monkeying around
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Eleventh Commandment
Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and
Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States
was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who
saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only
course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their
message across. Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new
commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and
holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they
concluded: “Thou salt not comfort thy rod with thy staff.”
Answer me this!!!!!
1 out of four people have mental illness right? well if all of your friends have a mental illness, you included then who?
answer me!!!!!!!!!
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only…
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
– She moans with the other.
Una pareja est� en el
Una pareja est� en el campo y empiezan con el calent�n, entonces �l se pone a comerle el co�o.
“�Pepe, Pepe, qu�tate las gafas que me haces da�o!”
El tipo se quita las gafas y sigue con la tarea. Al momento ella insiste:
“�Anda, Pepe, ponte de nuevo las gafas que est�s mordiendo el c�sped!”
McGlobal
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him a verbal jab, ‘They don’t serve beer here, you moron!’ The German fellow felt embarrassed, however he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to chuckle. ‘And what’s so funny?’ the New Yorker demands. ‘Oh, nothing really, I just realized how stupid you are. You came here for the food!’