The Pope’s New Camera

One day a man was taking a tour of the Vatican, snapping
pictures with his camera as he went. But suddenly, he had this
urge to go to the washroom, but he held it in because the tour
guide told the group that they were going to see the pope! And
he was excited.

So they met the pope, and the man was very happy having met the
pope. When the pope left, he decided to go to the washroom,
finally, since he really had to go. He followed the signs to the
washrooms, unknowingly following the pope as he went.

He entered the washroom not knowing that the pope had just
entered the washroom. And since we all know that the pope is
horny, as he always is, he is jacking off to a nudie-mag in the
stall.

Unbeknownst to the man, he enters the same stall as the pope,
who is jerkin’ his gerkin. Completely astonished, the man snaps
a picture.

“Whoa, wait” pleads the pope, “You can’t let that picture get to
the media. It will be spread all over the world, they would tear
me apart! I will be ruined. You have to sell me that camera. I
will give you $1000 for it.”

“Whoa, a thousand bucks!” exclaims the man, “That is more than
five times what I paid for it! I will do it! Yeah!”

So he sells his camera to the pope, and leaves happy, but after
he utilizes the facilities. The pope opens up the camera,
exposing the film as to erase the discriminating evidence. While
he was doing this he realizes that his new camera is quite nice,
so he keeps it.

Later, the pope goes on a much needed and wanted vacation. He
visits Amsterdam, and during his many travels, he goes on some
tours.

One day he is snapping photos with his $1000 camera. Another
tourist, not recognizing the pope, remarks: “That is a really
nice camera. How much did you spend on it?”

“Well, I bought it from this guy for a thousand dollars.” says
the pope.

“Oh boy!” remarks the other tourist, “he must have seen you
coming!”

Saddam Enrages Bush With Full Compliance

WASHINGTON, DC – President Bush expressed frustration and anger Monday over a
U.N. report stating that Iraqi president Saddam Hussein is now fully complying
with weapons inspections. “Enough is enough,” a determined Bush told reporters.
“We are not fooled by Saddam’s devious attempts to sway world opinion by doing
everything the U.N. asked him to do. We will not be intimidated into backing
down and, if we have any say in the matter, neither will Saddam.” Bush added
that any further Iraqi attempt to meet the demands of the U.N. or U.S. will be
regarded as “an act of war.”

Chemistry song 06

The Twelve Days of ChemistryOn the first day of chemistryMy teacher gave to meA candle from Chem Study.(second day) two asbestos pads(third day) three little beakers(fourth day) four work sheets(fifth day) five golden moles(sixth day) six flaming test tubes(seventh day) seven unknown samples(eighth day) eight homework problems(ninth day) nine grams of salt(tenth day) a ten page test(eleventh day) eleven molecules(twelfth day) a twelve point quiz

The racecar driver

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took
her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in
the face.

“What’s the matter! Didn’t I satisfy you when we screwed?” he asked.

“It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble,” said the angry
woman. “In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, ‘What perfect headlights’.
Then you felt my thighs and murmured, ‘What a smooth finish’.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked the driver.

The woman answered, “Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, ‘Who the
hell left the garage door open’?”

The Relationships Ov

The Relationship with your Wife/Girlfriend Is Over When … – The milkman is wearing your bathrobe. – You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show. – She starts every sentence with the words … “To whom it may concern.” – Your mail comes addressed to “Current Resident.” – The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit. – Her mother looks at you and starts laughing. – You are urged to stir your coffee “very well,” before drinking it. – Your favourite easy chair is plugged into the wall outlet. – People are already referring to her as the “widow.” – Your name is Fred and a new tattoo just below her navel reads … “Joe’s Place.”