Author: admin

In World War II, an English reporter who had heard so much about the
bravery and elan of the Gurkhas visited a camp just in front of the
enemy lines (Germans). During the course of his reporting, he had
occasion to observe a mission being conducted.

The mission was to airdrop a bunch of soldiers behind enemy lines to
conduct some relatively light action. He watched the commander of the
Gurkhas (a British soldier) pitch the mission and then ask for
volunteers. To his surprise, only about half the Gurkhas volunteered
and were sent off.

Throughly disillusioned with the legends of Gurkha bravery, the
reporter went back home. After the war, he happened to run into a
Gurkha who had been there, and asked him why half the troops had failed
to volunteer. It turned out that none of the squad, both those who
volunteered and those who did not, were aware that they would get a
parachute for the drop. Hence the low turnout.

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.

S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.

S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.

S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No’s 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack normal

seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

Una vez estaba Pepito con su pap� en la sala y le dice:

“Oye pap�, tengo una duda.”

“�Cu�l es tu duda hijo?, cu�ntame.”

“Yo estaba leyendo una revista de las que tienes bajo tu cama y no entend� una palabra.”

“�Qu� palabra era, hijo?

“Cl�toris, �qu� es eso pap�?”

“Pues la verdad, hijo, que no me recuerdo, pero anoche la ten�a en la punta de la lengua.”

Una chava lleva a su casa a un chavo; se meten a su rec�mara e inmediatamente ella le sugiere que hagan el 69.

“�Qu� diablos es eso?”, le pregunta el chavo.

La chava, al darse cuenta de que �l no tiene experiencia le explica:

“Yo pongo mi cabeza entre tus piernas y t� pones la tuya entre las m�as”.

Y sin saber a�n de qu� estaba hablando ella, pero por no querer arruinar el momento, el chavo dice que s�. En el preciso instante en que los dos realizaban la posici�n, la chava se avent� un demoledor y apestoso pedo.

El chavo, tosiendo y arrastr�ndose como puede, se tira a un lado de la cama. La chava, apenada, le dice que la disculpe, que no volvera a pasar y nuevamente retoman la posici�n de ataque y cuando apenas iban a comenzar, otro pedo nauseabundo se le escapa a la chava.

El chavo se levanta sin decir nada, a�n haciendo bizcos, y comienza a vestirse.

“�Qu� te pasa, por qu� te vas?”

“�Si t� piensas que me voy a fletar los otros 67 est�s bien loca!”