Author: admin

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

2. It’s easy being a soap dodger

3. You get to eat shitty little things like snails and frog’s legs

4. You know what you are ordering in expensive restaurants

5. You don’t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

6. You can test your own nuclear weapons far away from your own doorstep

7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

8. If there’s a war you can surrender really early

9. You don’t have to bother with toilets, just shit in a hole

10. People think you’re a great lover even when you’re crap

As the sun rose over Parris Island, the senior drill instructor realised that one of his recruits had gone AWOL, so a search party was dispatched immediately.After a few hours, the recruit was discovered hiding in some bushes nearby. He was sent back to the base and promptly escorted to the drill instructor’s office.The instructor asked the young recruit, “Why did you go AWOL?”The recruit replied, “On my first day here, you issued me a comb and then proceeded to cut my hair off. On the second day, you issued me a toothbrush and then sent me to the dentist, who proceeded to pull out some of my teeth. Finally, on the third day, you issued me a jock strap… and I wasn’t about to wait around to find out what would follow that, Sir.”

Estaba el expresidente de M�xico Salinas de Gortari con su chofer paseando en su auto a toda velocidad, cruzando el campo, cuando de pronto �zas!, atropellan a un puerquito:

“�Qu� hacemos?”, pregunt� el chofer.

“Anda, busca al due�o del cerdo, expl�cale el accidente y dale un dinero a cambio”, respondi� el expresidente.

As�, pasaron una, dos, tres horas… Al cabo de 6 horas, se aparece el chofer, totalmente despeinado, con la camisa fuera:

“�Que pas�?”, pregunta Salinas.

“Me demor� porque el due�o del cerdo me invit� a comer, despu�s la mujer me regal� estos puros, y un rico vino, y adem�s hice apasionadamente el amor con su hermosa hija de 17 a�os.”

“Increible, �c�mo hiciste?”

“Fue f�cil”, responde el chofer, “lo �nico que dije fue: Hola, soy el chofer de Salinas de Gortari y acabo de matar al cerdo.”