You own at least 20 baseball hats.You think a ‘cursor’ is someone who swears a lot.You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
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The Cannibles and The Clown
Two cannibles are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says “Does this taste funny?”
I just had a dream about it
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?””You’ll know tonight.” he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.
God’s Time And Money
A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he
was praying, he asked God, “How long is 10 million years to you?”
He replied, “1 second.”
The next day the preacher asked God, “God, how much is 10 million
dollars to you?”
And God replied, “A penny.”
Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, “God, can I have one
of your pennies?”
And God replied, “Just waits a sec.”
womens pantys
What do you call stains in a womens pantys. Answer. Clitty liter
How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
Light reading.
Yo mama is so gay…
Yo mama is so gay, she sleeps with your dad.
No Soap
One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn’t until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he’ll run back for the soap.
Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it. He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots three nuns walking towards him. With nowhere to go, and hoping that the nuns will think he is a statue, he stands perfectly still, holding the two bars of soap.
The nuns approach and the first nun says, “Oh my, look at that! Isn’t that the most lifelike statue you’ve ever seen?”
She steps up for a closer look, reaches out and gives a couple of tugs on the priest’s weenie. Startled, he drops the first bar of soap.
“Oh Heavens,” she exclaims, “I got a bar of soap!”
The second nun is also amazed at how realistic the statue looks, so she steps in for a closer look. She takes a couple of yanks on the priest’s weenie, and he drops the other bar of soap.
“My goodness, I got a bar of soap also!” The nuns can’t believe it.
The third nun, overcome by the miracle statue, walks up to it and gives a couple of tugs to the priest’s weenie.
“My God, this is amazing,” she says, “I got liquid soap!”
Penguin
This guy runs into a bar and shouts, “Quick, how tall is a penguin??”
The bartender looks stunned.
“An empire penguin can be about this tall,� he says, gesturing.
So the guy says, “Oh no, I just ran over two nuns!”
Where do you find a dog………………
Q) Where do you find a dog with no legs ?
A) Exact where you have left him
Penis patch
A guy goes to the mens toilet in a bar. Standing next to him is a gay joker relieving himself as well. He looks down and notices the chap has a patch like an anti smoking patch on his penis.
He says “What’s that?”
The other man says “To help me give up.”
“Does it work?” asks the first chap.
“Oh, yes.” says the other, “I’m down to four butts a day!”
Edited by calamjo and curtis
Joke tellers
last week i went to my bank. I went up to the window and asked- are you hiring joke tellers today? She said-we have no interest!