Yours Fun Portal !
(this joke may take a while, but trust me it’s really funny)
Cows *say cow befor every word
About *say cow after every word
Talking *say cow befor and after every
word
every
Idiot
This *now read from the bottom up^
Got
I
Long
How
Look
After the State of the Union address on Tuesday, President Clinton was asked
about Rwanda.
“I never slept with her,” he replied.
YO mamma so fat that when she walked out of the house in her yellow rain coat.Everybody started screaming taxi.
It’s better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.
Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, “I guess you just don’t get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Ray!Ray who?Rayders of the Lost Ark!
This guy told this blonde that theres a quarter at the bottom of the pool so the blonde looks over the edge and sees her refletion and says someone got there before me!
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a
great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level,
stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Two men are walking along the beach on day when they find a bottle buried in the sand. As they are brushing the sand off, a genie pops out and tells them he will give each of them one wish. After thinking a moment the first man says, I wish I were the world’s smartest man.” “Done, says the genie, and the man suddenly starts explaining Einstein�s Theory of Relativity to his friend. The second man thinks for a moment, then says, “I want to be smarter than him!” “Done,” says the genie, and turns him into a woman!
How do you make a four year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on her teddy bear.
One day there was a knock on the Pope’s office door.
When he answered it, the salesman said, “Hello, my management team would like to discuss a proposal with you.” After taking a seat in his office, the salesman said, “I am with Kentucky Fried Chicken. We would like to offer you a contract to the church if you can change the Lord’s blessing from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘daily chicken’.”
The Pope said, “I’m sorry we just cannot do that.” The salesman went back to his office where he discussed the outcome of the meeting.
He returned to the Pope’s office a week later with the same proposal, only he had upped the bid to 4 million. The Pope gently declined, again.
The next week he came again and offered the Pope an offering of 10 million.
The Pope said, “Let me think it over.”
The Pope then called a meeting with the elders of the church and said, “Well gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. Kentucky Fried Chicken has generously offered us 10 million dollars to change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘daily bread’ to ‘daily chicken’. The bad new is that we will lose the Wonder Bread Contract.
A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the
wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee
she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says,
“Honey, Do you remember this?”
He looks up at her and says, “Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee
the night we were married.”
She says, “Yes, that’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that
night?”
He nods and says, “Yes dear, I still remember.”
“Well, what was it?” she asks.
He responds, “Well honey, as I remember, I said, ‘Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I’m
going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out!'”
She giggles and says, “Yes honey, that’s it. That’s exactly what you said.
So, now it’s 50 years later, I’m in the same negligee I wore that night.
What do you have to say tonight?”
Again he looks up at her and looks her up and down and replies, “Mission
Accomplished.”