Author: admin

A guy is tending bar at a sophisticated NY party when two nose-in-the-air women approach.

“So, where y’all from?” he asks.

“We are from,” one of them answers, “somewhere where people don’t end their sentences with prepositions.”

“Oh,” says the bartender. “So, where y’all from, bitch?”

Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Calamjo

There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down. He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule. The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say “Thank the Lord!” to make it go and “Amen!” to make it stop. So the man said, “Thank the Lord, thank the Lord and thank the Lord!” and the mule took off! He was coming to the edge of a cliff and he forgot how to make it stop. Finally, at the very edge he remembered, “Amen!” The guy was so relieved he shouted, “Thank the Lord!”

A lady went into a store and told the clerk that she wanted to
return a blender for refund because it didn’t work. The clerk
told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought
it on special. All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and
yelled, “Grab my tits! Grab my tits!”

The clerk didn’t know what to do, so he called the store manager
who asked her if he can help. She explained that she wanted to
return the broken blender for refund. He told her that he would
not give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.
Once again she screams: “Grab my tits! Ohhh, grab my tits!”

The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling
that particular phrase. She replied, “Because I like my tits
grabbed when I’m getting screwed up the ass!”

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”The policeman said, “What’s he like?”Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”