Author: admin

What’s in a word?

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A man walked in to his physician’s office, and asked to be castrated.

“I beg your pardon?” the doctor asked, slightly aghast.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time, and I’ve decided I want to go through with it.” The man says calmly.

“You want to be castrated.” The doctor said, stil not quite understanding.

“Yes. That’s right. I want to be castrated.”

The doctor tried to talk his patient out of the decision, but the man was adamant. He was unwaivering in his desire to be castrated. The doctor, seeing the man was resolute, sighed and put him in touch with a good plastic surgeon.

The surgeon was equally aghast, but after having the man sign a multitude of forms, agreed to perform the procedure.

The day of surgery arrived, and the man was in very good spirits. He was clearly looking forward to being castrated. Everyone was completely puzzled but as this clearly was what he wanted, they all shook their heads and went about the procedure as expertly as they could.

Afterward, the man was taken to recovery. The surgeon came to see him.

“Well, everything went fine. There were no complications. However, I must say I’ve never seen such a foreskin before. I’m surprised you were never circumsized.”

The man snapped his fingers. “THAT’S the word!”

Un hombre lleva a su

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Un hombre lleva a su mujer a una cl�nica para ser sometida a una intervenci�n quir�rgica. Como fue una larga operaci�n, el tipo regresa a su casa para atender a sus hijos que hab�an quedado solos. M�s tarde, llama a la cl�nica para enterarse del resultado de la operaci�n.

“Buenas tardes, �Qui�n habla?”

“Hola, �es la cl�nica?”

“S� se�or”.

“Le habla Pedro Ripiales. Quiero saber c�mo sali� mi esposa…”

Pero en ese momento, el tel�fono se liga con un taller de reparaciones que estaba hablando con un cliente por el arreglo de una motocicleta.

“Hola, hola, �me est�n oyendo?”

“Perfectamente, se�or. En cosa de dos d�as se la entregaremos”.

“Entonces, �todo va bien?”

“S�, �pero qu� problem�tico fue! La desmontamos toda por dentro. Ten�a much�simas cosas en mal estado, pero ya las cambiamos y dentro de dos d�as va a poder montarla”.

“�Montarla?”

“Sin miedo alguno. Le cortamos el tubo de admisi�n porque lo ten�a muy largo. �Se ve que usted le da duro!”

“Pero, se�or…”

“El desgaste de las paredes nos lo demuestra. Usted deber�a engrasarla m�s a menudo”.

“�Eso es demasiado se�or!”

“Adem�s, debo decirle que su pist�n est� muy usado. No vale nada. Como usted comprender�, le introdujimos un pist�n m�s grueso que el suyo y hemos quedado sorprendidos del resultado. Tambi�n le ampliamos el tubo de escape que estaba abollado”.

“�Del escape?”

“S�, por donde salen los gases. Estaba casi completamente tapado, pero ahora qued� que da gusto”.

“�Pero, qu� mierda?”

“No se inquiete, que ahora todo marcha bien. Yo mismo la prob�. Despu�s la hemos montado siete y con todos se ha portado maravillosamente”.

A man walks into a

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A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out. The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing, fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if the man
returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.

“So did you follow him?”

“I did.”

“And…where did he go?”

“Over to your house…”

The price of Love

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A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.

“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”

Bible Salesman

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This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him. He interviewed three people.

The first came in and said, “I want to sell Bibles for you.”

“OK, you’re hired. Here’s your kit; go sell!”

The second came in and said, “I want to sell Bibles for you.”

“OK, you’re hired! Here’s your kit; go sell!”

The third came in and said, “I- i – I wa – wa- wa-want t-t-t-t-to s-s-s-s-ell to sell, to sell, to sell, Bi – bi – bi – Bibles, sell Bi -Bibles f-f-f-fo-for y-y-y-y you Bibles for you!”

“No,” shouted the man, “this will never work! You can’t sell Bibles for me!”

The applicant replied, “B-b-b-b-but I r-r-r-eall, but I really, really, n-n-n-n-need th-th-th-this, really need tthis job!”

As there were no other applicants, he man said, “OK, I’ll give you one shot at this, but I expect you to PRODUCE!”

At the end of the can, the first applicant comes back and reports, “I sold 8 Bibles today.”

The second reports: “I sold 11 Bibles today.

The third worker reports, “To-to-to-to t-t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I so-, I so- I sold 28 Bi- bi- b- bibles!”

“Great,” says the man. “However, I want you to sell lots more Bibles than that, so get out there tomorrow and MAKE ME SOME MONEY!”

At the end of the first day, the first worker comes in and reports, “Today, I sold 32 Bibles.”

The second worker reports, “I sold 44 Bibles today”

The third worker reports, “To-to-to t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I sold 79 Bi-bi-bi- sold 79, sold 79 Bibles.”

“Fantastic,” said the man, “since you’re doing so well, so much better than these other two bums, why don’t you tell them what your sales technique is.”

Replied the worker, “I-i-I j-j-j-j-ju-ju-ju-just wa, wa, wa, just wal- wa- wa- walk, just walk up to up to up to just walk up to them and and ask, them and ask, them and ask if th-th-th-th ask if they w-w-w-w-w- wa- ask if they want t-t-t-t-o-o- if they want to b–b-b-b-b if they want to buy a Bi-bi – want to buy a Bi–b–a – a- abi – buy a to buy a Bi-bi-bible, or d-d-d-d-d do th-th-they do they w-w-w-ant me to ***READ*** it to ’em?”