q:did you ever see the movie “constipaited”?
a:it never came out!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: admin
I’ll Betcha…
A woman is just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rings. Her husband, heading to the shower himself, asks her to see who’s at the door, so she wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands her next-door neighbor, Rob. Before she can say a word, Rob says, “I’ll give you $500 to drop that towel you have on.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of him. He looks for a few seconds, hands her $500, and leaves.
Excited about her earnings, the woman puts the towel back on and runs upstairs. Her husband yells out from the shower, “Who was that?”
“It was Rob from next door,” she replies.
“Great,” the husband says.
“Did he say anything about the $500 dollars he owes me?”
Yo mama so drunk
yo mama so drunk that when she was at the bar last night she thought you were the bar tender and slaped the bartender for being ugly
Yo mama so ugly…
Yo mama so ugly, she scares blind people.
Terms of Endearment!
Bernie was invited to his friend’s home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, “That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names.”
Morris hung his head and whispered –
“To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!”
How volcanoes are formed
how are volcanes formed?
really determined mear cats
Drunk again
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face.
He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.
When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”
“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.
“The pub called — you left your wheelchair there again.”
Scam!!!
Under most circumstances, I would just ignore this. However, since I’ve been doing some
very important work with this charitable organization, I would hate to see all the good work spoiled. I agree that there may be a few trying to take advantage, but the majority of us are trying to help others. So, if I show up at your door, please ignore the message below and cooperate fully!
Subject: FW: Scam Warning You might want to pass this on to your girlfriends, sisters, Mom, etc….
Warning!!
I don’t normally forward these, but this one looks important…
WARNING … WARNING !!!!!
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits… DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS!
This is a scam and he is only trying to SEE YOUR TITS.
Prevention for women
Q.How do women prevent from getting wrinkly arses?
A.Stop having sex on the drain board
Q: How many members
Q: How many members of the England cricket team does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Four. One to change it after 85 overs, one to throw him the new one, one to drop it, and one to get caught rubbing something out of his pocket into it.
red light
What goes “Vroom…screech…vroom…screech…vroom…screech?”A blonde at a flashing red light.
Yo Mammas so fat
Yo Mammas so fat when she saw an elephant she said i want to ride the pony!