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Esto es un calvo que estaba acomplejado con su calva, entonces para ligar se pon�a peluca.
Un buen d�a se lig� a una cegata. Una vez en la casa del calvo la cegata se va al ba�o para quitarse las gafas, en ese momento el calvo aprovecha para quitarse la peluca, cuando la cegata va a tientas a la cama empieza a tocar la cabeza del calvo y exclama:
“�Esta es la cabeza?”
“S�”, contesta el calvo.
“Pues eso se lo vas a meter a tu puta madre.”
Yo mama so dumb she sat at a stop sign waiting for it to change to “go”.
Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one.
And a priest does not use his. What is it?
A last name.
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant
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1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
them in the police line, shouting ”Please come out and give yourself up.”
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, ”Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, ”That’s not what I said!”
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, ”My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” ”Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. ”No!”, the man shouted, ”This is her husband!”.
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
What do you call an Etheopian with yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
The problem with a government-run trust fund is that there is too little of either.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?They like a tight seal.
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now!
A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother
decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation.
Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school,
the boy’s grades were straight A’s, even in math!
Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school.
“Oh, it’s all right, I guess,” he replies.
“They must be teaching you some new tricks!”
“Not really.”
“Then what do you think is making the difference in your grades?”
“Well”, he says, “as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign,
I knew they meant business!”
It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most
freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700
students in the class. The professor was very strict and told the class that any
exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the
student would fail. Thirty minutes into the exam, a student came rushing in and
asked for an exam booklet. “You’re not going to have time to finish this,” the
professor stated as he handed the student a booklet.
“Yes, I will,” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the students filed up and handed their exams in. All except
the late student, who continued writing. Half an hour later, he finally came up
to the professor’s desk and attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam
booklets.
“No you don’t, I am not going to accept that, It’s late!” The student looked
incredulous and angry. “Do you know who I am?” “No, as a matter of fact, I
don’t,” replied the professor sarcastically.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” the student asked again. “No, and I don’t care,”
replied the professor with an air of superiority.
“Good!” replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams,
stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.