Yours Fun Portal !
Two pieces of string walked into a bar and ordered a pint. ‘sorry’ said the barman, ‘we don’t serve pieces of string in here’ and with that he threw the two pieces of string out.
Outside, one of the pieces of string ruffeled himself up, tied himself in a loop and went back into the bar.
‘Are you one of those pieces of string I just threw out?’ asked the barman.
‘No’ replied the string, ‘I’m a frayed not’!
Eddie, Columbia, Frank and Rocky arrive at Heavens gates and are met by St Peter. “My children” said Peter “You have all lived very sinful lives but as your deaths were so untimely you can return to earth. But remember, if you indulge in any sins of the flesh you will go to Hell.” Everyone agreed and in a flash they were back on earth.Unfortunately, the second they came to life, Eddie and Columbia fell into each other arms in a passionate embrace. The ground under them open up and swallowed them up.Rocky and Frank carried on down the road a few miles when Rocky saw a $20 bill on the ground bends over to pick it up.The ground open and Frank disappears.
14> The Fatkins Diet
13> The Michael Jackson Diet: lamb and veal on a bed of whitefish
12> The Guiltily and Secretly Indulging Every Between-Meals Craving and Believing It’s Okay Because You Eat Small, Unsatisfying Meals and Besides It’s Impossible to Gain Weight Once You’ve Told Everybody You Know You’re on a Diet Diet
11> The Bucket Diet: Chew all you want. Swallow nothing.
10> The Cicada Diet: Gorge yourself, have sex, then sleep for 17 years.
9> Southwest Airlines Frequent Flyer Diet: After having to pay for two seats a couple of times, you’ll slim your fat ass down.
8> The “Fear Factor” Diet: easy to watch, difficult to swallow
7> The I Only Eat on Days That End in “Y” Diet
6> South Beached Whale Diet: Eat until you’re a blubbering idiot.
5> SlumFast: Eat only what your daily allotment of food stamps will buy.
4> Ruben Studdard’s Sing the Pounds Off Plan
3> HBO Diet: What we want to feed you, when we want to feed you. And you’ll be endlessly grateful for it, too.
2> The Un-Brando Diet: Share meals with Marlon Brando; eat everything he doesn’t.
1> The Anna Nicole Diet: Nothing but well-aged pork.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
tu ama
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a snake?
When you run over a snake, you don’t back up to make sure it’s dead.
Whay is the difference between a faggot and a refrigerator?
The fridg dont fart when you pull the meat out
A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy a surprise formal evening gown for his wife.”What size?” asked the clerk.The man shrugged blankly.Trying to help, the clerk inquired, “Well then, what are your wife’s measurements?”The man thought for a moment. “Small, medium, and large and in that order.”
The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. “Please dear, I need help.” she said.
The husband ran off saying “I’ll go get some help.” A little while later he returned, picked up his club and began to line up his shot on the green.
His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, “I’m may be dying and you’re putting?”
“Don’t worry dear. I found a doctor on the second hole who said he come and help.”
“The second hole??? When in the hell is he coming???”
“Hey! I told ya not to worry.” he said, practice stroking his putt. “Everyone’s already agreed to let him play through.”
your mamma is so fat when she wore a yellow dress to church the preacher said I saw the light
What’s the difference between a sorority girl and a phone booth?
You need a quarter to use the phone.
YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT AFTER HAVING SEX WITH YUOR DAD, HE LOOKS LIKE A PANCAKE
Yo momma so big that when she ran the Boston Marathon, She started and finished at the same time!
Yo momma so big that Japan is her best friend!
Yo momma so big that she cant go nowhere, because she is already everywhere!
Yo momma so big Ive known her my whole life and I still havent seen all of her!
I kinda like big women so I took your momma out on a date to an all you can eat restaurant…Big Mistake…that was about 3 years ago….and the bitch is still eating!!