Author: admin

Provide for the Family

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A young girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner,
while the women are cleaning the table, the father invites the fiance into
the living room. “So, what are your plans?” the father asks. “I’m a bible
scholar,” he replies. “A bible scholar,” the father says, “admirable…but
what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as
she is accustomed to?” “I will study,” the young man replies, “and God
will provide for us.” “And children?” asks the father, “How will you
support children?” “I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man
replies, “God will provide for us.” The conversation proceeds like this,
and each time the father questions, the fiance insists that God will
provide.

Later that evening, the mother is alone with the father and asks him “So,
how did it go?” The father says, “He has no job and no plans. But, the
good news is, he thinks I am God!”

Golf Course Stinger

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A lady is golfing with some friends. After sinking her first putt, she’s on her way down the path to the second tee when she gets stung by a bee. She rushes the short distance back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She bumps into the resident golf pro, who says “What can I help you with?”The woman tells him she’s been stung by a bee. The pro asks, “Oh really, where?”The lady replies, “Between the first and second hole.”To that the golf pro states, “Well, first of all, your stance to way too wide!”

What’ll be The Baby’s Name?

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A 15 year old girl finally had the oportunity to go to a party
all alone. Since she was very good looking, she was a bit
nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, “It’s
very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him
‘what will be the name of our baby?’, that’ll scare them off.”
So off she went.

After a little while at the party a boy started dancing whith
her and little by little kissing her and touching her. She asked
him, “What will our baby be called?” The boy found some excuse
and disapeared.

Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started to
kiss her neck, her shoulders…she stoped him and asked him
about the baby’s name, he ran off.

Later on another boy invited her for a walk, after a few minutes
he started kissing her and she asked him, “What will our baby be
called?” He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. “What
will our baby be called?” she asked once more. He began to have
sex with her. “What will our baby be called?!” she asked again.
After he was done, he took off his “full” condomn, gave it a
knot and said, “If he gets out of this one…David Copperfield!”

The blonde and the cliff

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to see their grandpa living on top of a large cliff. He told them that the cliff was magical and said to jump off the cliff and say the name of the animal you want to turn into and you will turn into it. So they went to the cliff. The brunette went first. She jumped off the cliff and said, “eagle” and turned into an eagle and flew away. The redhead went next. She jumped off and said, “butterfly” and turned into a butterfly and flew away. The blonde went last. She jumped off the cliff and forgot what to do so she said, “holy crap”

One More Son..

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A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting.The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, “I have four sons. One more and I’ll have a basketball team.”The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, “That’s nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team.”To which the Mormon replied, “You fellas ain’t got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I’ll have a golf course.”