Author: admin

“It’s not that I mind awfully that he’s unfaithful,” the wife said to the marriage counselor, “but I just can’t get used to sleeping three in a bed.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Un tipo recibe una llamada an�nima avis�ndole que su mujer lo enga�a con un tal Fernando… todos los d�as en cuanto el se va al trabajo.

Al d�a siguiente, el tipo parte pero se queda espiando desde la esquina. Al rato ve llegar a Fernando buen mozo, 2 metros de alto, cuerpo atl�tico, aristocr�tico, ropa italiana de �ltima moda, el cual con un ramo de flores en la mano, toca el timbre de su casa.

Desde lejos ve que su mujer le abre y lo hace entrar. El marido corre, abre con su llave sin hacer ruido, entra sigilosamente y esp�a por la puerta entreabierta del dormitorio. Fernando se saca la chaqueta revelando unos hombros poderosos y arm�nicos. La mujer lo besa apasionadamente y se saca los zapatos.

El marido no sabe que hacer, que decir, ni como intervenir y s�lo atina a seguir espiando. Fernando se saca la camisa de seda natural y muestra un torso perfecto, un vientre duro y sin un gramo de grasa.

La mujer se saca la falda y lo acaricia con locura.

Fernando se saca los pantalones y sus piernas son virilmente perfectas y un instrumento que le cuelga de envidia.

La mujer se saca la blusa y al soltarse el sost�n se le caen las “tetas” hasta el ombligo… “�Qu� horrible ecena!”

El marido afligid�simo esconde la cara entre las manos y murmura:

“�Puta madre, vieja de mierda, qu� verg�enza con Fernando!

1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met. 2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today. 3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. 4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys. 5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim. 6) Hit strangers with your flutter board. 7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you. 8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ”Oh yeah… oooh that feels soooo good….” 9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move. 10) Swim near someone and go ”Shoot! I knew I shouldn’t have had so much lemonade before I came here.” 11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. 12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ”HA-HA, fooled you!” 13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board. 14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits. 15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool. 16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed. 17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in. 18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off. 19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount. 20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say ”Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around. 21) Hit strangers with your wet towel. 22) Throw people’s things into the pool. 23) Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale. 24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself. 25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, “Buddy, I’d sure like to be on your side of the river!””Alrght, tell ya whut, I’ll shine my flashlight ‘cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!” the redneck yelled back.The buckeye replied, “Hain’t no way, buddy. I know you think I’m a fool! When I get halfway ‘cross, you’ll turn your flashlight off!