Stuffing…

Stuffing…

He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyus cry.
The hole was wide…he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms….

And then he stuffed the turkey.

Mule & the Mother-in-law

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways… At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply. Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, ‘The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would then ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t, it’s all booked up for a year.”

En una Iglesia de un

En una Iglesia de un pueblo est�n haciendo una obra y uno de los alba�iles observa que cuando van las muchachas a confesarse siempre llegan llorando y el cura las acompa�a agarr�ndolas de la mano hasta la sacrist�a. Pasado algunos minutos el cura abre la puerta y la muchacha que antes hab�a entrado llorando ahora sale totalmente transformada con una sonrisa de oreja a oreja.

El alba�il, muy extra�ado, le pregunta al cura: “�qu� es lo que le hace usted a las muchachas que entran tan tristes y llorosas y salen tan alegres y sonrientes?”

Y el cura le contesta: “Les pongo una inyecci�n de fe”.

El alba�il le responde: “Pues ci�rrese la bragueta que todav�a lleva la jeringuilla fuera y goteando”.