Do you know what would look good on you? Me!
Author: admin
New stamp
The latest rumor in Washington, D.C., is that, in a Bush Administration beginning in 2004, the U.S. Postal Service will introduce a new 69-cent postage stamp with the likeness of Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones.
Then everyone who licks that stamp can feel like Bill Clinton.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
What’s the new Jewish-Chineese
What’s the new Jewish-Chineese resturant called?
– “So Sue Me”
You make me flip my lid
Q: What did the can say to the can opener?
A: You make me flip my lid.
Love
Love is a sensatoin that hurts like an operation when a boy
sticks his dicktation into a girl’s combulation. You start a
conversation, he says your cute, he says your fine but when the
baby comes he says it isn’t mine. The daddy’s a bastard, the
momma’s a whore the baby woldn’t be here if the rubber hadn’t
torn.
Q&A
Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.
Funky dsois
three
gus
Ram�n, un camionero robusto y
Ram�n, un camionero robusto y fornido, lleva su carga para el interior del pa�s en �poca de carnaval. El d�a va transcurriendo a medida que canta su canci�n:
“Yo soy Ram�n, el m�s mach�n y manejo este cami�n…”
Entre canto y canto, advierte que una monja est� haciendo autostop. Se detiene, y la religiosa sube al cami�n. �l sigue cantando su canci�n, cuando aquella le propone que hagan el amor. Ram�n, siempre dispuesto, accede.
La hermana le pide a Ram�n que mejor lo hagan por detr�s, ya que por delante la revisan al llegar convento. Sin problema, aquel acepta. Despu�s de apa�arse por un rato, suben de nuevo al cami�n y Ram�n, m�s melodioso que nunca, contin�a:
“Yo soy Ram�n, el m�s mach�n y manejo este cami�n…”
Espont�neamente, la monja corea a Ram�n y comienza a cantar:
“Yo soy Pascual, homosexual y me disfrazo en carnaval…”
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
twinkies
These two people where having sex in an apartment somehow the condom flies out the window. A little boy on the street sees it at the same time the guy sticks his head out the window and says “wait there ill be right down” so the guy throws a pair of shorts on and runds downstairs. The guy go up to the kid and says “ill give you one doller if you give me that twinky back. the little boy says ok. He runs home and tells his mom “hey mom guess what today i sold a twinky for one doller but i got the better end of the deal i sucked out all the cream filling first.
Pinnochio and his girlfriend
One day, Pinnochio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls and wooden boys do. Later, as they were cuddling, Pinnochio could tell that something was bothering his girlfriend. So he asked her, What’s the matter, baby?’ Pinnochio’s girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied, ‘You’re probably the best guy I’ve ever met — but every time we make love, you give me splinters.’ This remark bothered Pinnochio a great deal, so the next day he went to seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto. When Pinnochio arrived, he could tell something was bothering Pinnochio, and asked him what was the matter. As Pinnochio revealed his dilemma, Gepetto searched up and down for a solution. Eventually, he suggested that sandpaper might be able to ‘smooth’ out Pinnochio’s relationship with his girlfriend. Pinnochio graciously thanked Gepetto and went on his way. Gepetto had not heard from Pinnochio for a while and therefore assumed that the sandpaper had solved all of Pinnochio’s problems. A couple weeks later, Gepetto was in town to have some blades sharpened at the hardware store when he ran into Pinnochio. When he saw Pinnochio buying all the packs of sandpaper the store had in stock, Gepetto remarked, ‘So Pinnochio, things must be going pretty damn good with the girls’. To which Pinnochio replied, ‘GIRLS? WHO NEED GIRLS???’
Things men wish women knew part 3
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
29. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
30. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
31. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?
33. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not
both.
35. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. Don’t make 50 rules when 36 will do.