Author: admin

Un tipo es detenido por

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Un tipo es detenido por un oficial de polic�a por conducir con exceso de velocidad:

“Sus documentos, es mi deber levantarle una infracci�n”.

“Jefe, perdone, la verdad es que no me di cuenta de la velocidad. Deme otra oportunidad, por favor”.

“Est� bien, como yo soy amante de las adivinanzas, le voy a hacer una; si adivina, no le aplico la multa”.

“Muy bien, d�game”.

“Es de noche, Ud. ve a lo lejos dos faros de forma redonda. �Qu� es?”

“Pues, yo dir�a que es un auto”.

“S�, pero es muy general, podr�a ser un Mercedes, un BMW o un Honda. Ni modo, tengo que aplicarle la multa”.

“�No, por favor, una m�s, deme otra oportunidad!”

“Est� bien, es de noche, a lo lejos ve un faro de forma cuadrada. �Qu� es?”

“Pues yo dir�a que puede ser una moto”.

“S�, pero es muy general, podr�a ser una Kawasaki, una Harley o una Suzuki; disc�lpeme, pero ahora si le tengo que aplicar la multa”.

“Esta bien, apl�queme la multa, pero antes quiero hacerle una adivinanza a Ud., que, por lo visto, le gustan mucho”.

“Muy bien, d�game”.

“Es de noche, al lado de la carretera se ven unas se�oritas. �Qu� son?”

“Pues, yo dir�a que son golfas”.

“S�, pero es muy general, podr�an ser su madre, su mujer o su hermana”.

Confession

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The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.

She says, “Father, I never wear panties under my habit.”

The priest chuckles and says, “That’s not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do six cartwheels (front rolls) on your way to the altar.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Give Me A ….

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A brunette walks into a bar and says, “Gimme an ML.” The bartender says, ” What’s an ML?” She says, ” A Miller Light.” Another Brunette walks in and says, “Gimme a BL.” The bartender says, “What’s a BL?” She says, “Bud Light.” A dumb blonde walks in and says, “Gimme a 15.” The bar tender says,” What’s a fifteen?” She says,” 7&7, duh!”

Out golfing

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Two pollacks are out golfing and are stuck on the sixteenth green when a
foursome comes to play through. One guy asks, “What seems to be the trouble?”

The first pollack answers, “We both hit to green and when we got here one ball
is in the cup and one is on the lip of the cup. We both shoot Titleist #3 balls
so we can’t figure out who got the hole in one.”

The other golfer looks at the two balls and replies, “Which one of you was
playing the orange ball?”

Protect and Serve

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While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a police officer?”

“Yes,” I answered, and continued writing the report.

“My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?”

“Yes, that’s right,” I told her.

“Well, then,” she said as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”