Q. What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A. A bloody waste of fucking time.
Author: admin
Cheating Boyfriend
This Blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and, sure enough, she opens the door to find him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blond is angry.
She opens her purse, takes out the gun but, as she does she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.
The boyfriend yells “No, honey, don’t do it.”
The blond replies “Shut up, you’re next.”
Where is your beard?
After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country
for America returns to visit the family.
“But–where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him.
“Mama,” he replies, “in America, nobody wears a beard.”
“But at least you keep the Sabbath?”
“Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.”
“But kosher food you still eat?”
“Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher.”
The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his
ear, “Isaac, tell me–you�re still circumcised?”
Two priests and a rabbi
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the
weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest
explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back
and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle
he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,
except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the
money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, “I’ve got you both beat. I throw the money
into the air and what god wants, god takes.”
Dynotopia
yo mamma so fat and ugly she plays in dynotopia……… and she is all the dinosaurs
Cats Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs
Cats Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs10. Up on the Mousetrap 9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas 8. Joy to the Curled 7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus 6. The First Meow 5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful 4. Silent Mice 3. Fluffy, The Snowman 2. Jingle Balls 1. Wreck the Halls!
War Wound?
A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal,
between two elderly men.
He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.
“What the hell is that?” he asks.
“War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to
save my dick but they had to leave two holes”
Then the guy looks to his right and sees. . . three streams !!!
“What the hell is that?”
“War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes”
The two veterans then look over at the guy in the middle and see. . . 12
streams!!
“War wound??”
“Naah, my zipper’s stuck”
Spokesperson for the Pocket Fisherman.
Q: What is Joycelyn Elder’s new job?
A: Spokesperson for the Pocket Fisherman.
Simple Math Questions
I am going to ask you three questions. And you have to answer
them instantly. You can’t take your time, you HAVE to answer
immediately. O.K.? Let’s find out just how clever you really
are…
Ready?
GO!!!
First Question:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second.
What position do you finish?
NOW! See the answer below
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer:
If you answer that you arrived first, than you are absolutely
wrong!!! Because you overtake the second so you arrived second!!
To answer the second question, don’t take as much time as you
took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last then you arrive…?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer:
If you answer that you arrived second last then you are wrong
again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST!!! The question
was wrong!
Third Question:
Subject: Very Very Tricky Maths, lol!
Note: This riddle must be don IN YOUR HEAD ONLY and NOT using
paper and a pen.
Try it –
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total? (scroll down for answer)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don’t believe it? Check with your calculator!
The decimal sequence confuses our brain, that always jumps to
the highest decimals (100s instead of 10s)
Mewseum
Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
A: To a mewseum.
The Blind Man Joke (its really good!!)
There was a blind man who walked into a bar with a seeing eye dog. The man started swinging the dog around in the air, the bar tender said “What are you doing!””. The man said “”Oh just taking a look around””.
“
Railroad
Your momma is like arailroad track, laid all over.