Author: admin

What’s the difference between a wedge of old cheese and an [ethnic] girl?

One is strong smelling and covered in mold and the other goes great with
crackers!

A girl gets hired as a cashier at an adult video store.

Before leaving for lunch the boss says, “Try to sell some of those sex toys & vibrators”.

A moment later, the girl sees a women come in the store so she points out the shelf of dildos and vibrators.

The woman browses in disinterest, and says, “How much is that plaid one?”

Later the boss returns and asks if it’s been busy.

“No”, says the cashier, “but I sold your thermos for $30.00!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Jim and Ethel had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their two-up two-down terrace house.

After a few days an attractive young woman applies for the room and explains that she is a model working in a nearby studio downtown for a few weeks and that she would like the room for Mondays thru Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week. Ethel shows her the house and they agree to start straight away.

“There’s just one problem,” explains the model. “Because of my job I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don’t have a bath.”

“That’s not a problem,” replies Ethel, “we have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it in to the living room, in front of the fire, and fill it with hot water.”

“What about your husband?” asks the model.

“Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he’ll be out in the evenings,” replies Ethel.

“Good,” says the model, “that’s settled. I’ll go to the studio and see you tonight.”

That evening Jim dutifully goes to his darts match whilst Ethel prepares the bath for the model. After stripping off the model steps into the bath and Ethel is amazed to see that she has no pubic hair. The model notices Ethel’s staring eyes, smiles and explains that it is part of her job to shave herself especially when modelling swim wear or underclothes.

Later when Jim returns, Ethel relates this oddity and he does not believe her. “It’s true, I tell you,” says Ethel. “Look, if you don’t believe me, tomorrow night I’ll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself.”

The next night Jim leaves as usual and Ethel prepares the bath for the model. As the model steps naked into the bath, Ethel, standing behind her, looks towards the curtains, and points towards the model’s hairless crotch. Then she lifts up her skirt and wearing no panties, points to her own hairy mass.

Later Jim returns and they retire to bed. “Well do you believe me now?” she asks Jim.

“Yes,” he replies. “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. But, why did you lift up your skirt and show yours too?

“Just to show you the difference,” answers Ethel, “but anyway you’ve seen me with no knickers on thousands of times.”

“Yes,” says Jim, “I have…but the rest of the fucking darts team haven’t.”

A man goes to the doctor and says “Doctor, I dont feel too good, could you check me over?”.

The doctor does some tests and says ” I hate to tell you this but you have AIDS.”

The man says “Oh my goodness, is there anything I should do?”

The doctor says “Yeah,drink a couple gallons of prune juice, eat a box of bran flakes, eat as much ex-lax as you can stomach and then get some mexican food.”

The man asks “Will that cure me?”

The doctor says ” No, but it will remind you what your ass is for!”

There were three elderly men sitting in wheelchairs on the porch one sunny afternoon. They were ten years apart in ages.
One was 60, another 70 and the last 80 years old.

The 60 yo, started complaining. He said “I wish I could just piss all at once and not dribble, dribble, dribble all day and night.”

The 70 year old then said, “I don’t have that problem. I just wish I could take one good dump and not ooze, ooze, oooze all day and night.

The 80 year old started laughing at the other two. He said, “I don’t have any of those problems!” “At 7:00 a.m. I take a good piss, at 9:00 a.m. I take a good shit.

“My only problem is that…I don’t wake up until noon!”