Yours Fun Portal !
A man came home a day early from a business trip and discovered his wife in the midst of passionate lovemaking with a total stranger in their bedroom. He demandingly asked, “What on earth are you doing?!?!!”
The wife turned to the other man and replied, “See, I told you he was as dumb as a post.”
A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a youth club:
Interviewer: “So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on
this adventure holiday?”
Mr. Jones: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.”
Interviewer: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?”
Mr. Jones: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the range.”
Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be
teaching children?”
Mr. Jones: “I don’t see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline
before they even touch a firearm.”
Interviewer: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.”
Mr. Jones: “Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute but you’re not one, are
you?”
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
Q: What�s the difference between Vince Foster, Ron Brown, and Monica Lewinsky?
A: Monica is the only one who took a shot in the head from Bill and lived to
tell about it.
you are so ugly you smell weird!
�Cu�les son las tres mentiras m�s grandes que un hombre le dice a su mujer?
1. Siempre te voy a querer.
2. Nunca te ser� infiel.
3. �Chupa, chupa que yo te aviso!
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”
I’ve changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The cop told him to walk the white line for a drunk test
There was a mother and her 6-year-old son sitting at a table in a restaurant. Behind the 6-year-old-son, there was a woman breast feeding her newborn child. The 6-year-old stands up in his seat, reaches over and grabs the breast of the woman that is breast feeding and says, “got milk?”
^ True story
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
Tres parejas de reci�n casados se van de luna de miel y se instalan en el mismo hotel. Despu�s de la primera noche, el esposo de la enfermera baja y el curioso recepcionista le pregunta:
“�C�mo es casarse con una enfermera?”
“Fatal, fatal. Mete y saca; desinfecta. Mete. Saca. Desinfecta”.
Baja, entonces, el marido de la secretaria y, nuevamente el recepcionista pregunta:
“�Qu� tal casarse con una secretaria?”
“P�simo. Mete, saca; espere cinco minutos. Mete, saca; espere cinco minutos”.
Finalmente, baja a la recepci�n el que se cas� con la profesora y el recepcionista insiste:
“�Qu� tal casarse con una maestra?”
“Cansad�simo. Mete, saca; y ella me dice: muy mal hecho, repita 100 veces”.