once there was a man and a woman who decided that it was time for them to take their relationship a step higher. It was the womans first time and she asked the man how exactly they did it. He replied that there were several ways to do it, but one of his favorites was the woman striping slowly and then the he would kiss every inch of her body including breasts, butt, inbetween the toes, fingers, eyes, and ears. Then the man would strip and she would do the same to him. The woman agreed and started to slowely take off her shirt.”no no no, the man said, you have to do it while dancing a sexy dance around me.” The woman did. When she started to unbutton her pants, the man saw that she had unusually large breasts and as she leaned over they kind of popped out of her bra. She got her pants off and turned around in a circle. The man noticed that she was wearing a thong. He liked the way that she looked and also looked forward to kissing her breasts and where the thong was going. Before the woman unclipped her bra, she asked the man if he would be so kind as to keep the secret of what they were doing to himself and not tell anyone. The man agreed so that she would get it off and he could get started.The next day at work, he told everyone he could find that one of the people that he worked with had had sex with him. (the lady he was talking about was of coarse the woman) When the lady found out, she decided to get back at him. She walked up to him and asked if he would come into the bosses office to get intamet with him. He was up to the challenge and she told him it was his turn to go first. He did and before she started kissing him, she told him to turn around. He did and she picked up his clothes and ran out.
Author: admin
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: Why doesn’t Hillary cut Bill’s hair?A: He won’t pay her $300.
Mosquito’s Favorite Sport
What is a mosquito’s favorite sport?
Skin diving.
New study reveals alarming statistic:
Senior Citizens are the biggest carriers of AIDS.
Hearing AIDS
Seeing AIDS
Chewing AIDS
Band AIDS
RolAIDS
Walking AIDS
MedicAIDS
Government AIDS
Lesbian Love
What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
Well Hung.
Bengals Anthrax Scare
The Cincinnati Bengals� football practice was delayed today for several hours after one of the players noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown, white, powdery substance on the playing field. Head coach Marvin Lewis immediately suspended practice, and the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents determined that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
If Anita Bryant married Moby
If Anita Bryant married Moby Dick… her name would be?
A quote on marriage
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
Little johnny
teacher ask the pupils to put urinate in a sentance ,mary goes if i drink too much water i then have to urinate.teacher says well done next bobby says if i hear water running it makes me want to urinate ,great the teacher says so johnny chimes in and says ” my dad reakons urinate but if you had bigger tits youd be a ten
Piano vs Mine Shaft
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor!
The Power of Brandin
You go to a party and you see a sexy girl across the room. You go up to her and say “Hi, I’m great in bed, how about it?” That’s direct marketing.You go to a party and you see a sexy girl across the room. You give your friend a tenner. He goes up and says “Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?” That’s advertising.You go to a party, you see a sexy girl across the room. She comes over and says, “Hi, I hear you’re great in bed, how about it?” Now…….. that’s The Power of Branding!
More darwin awards…
It’s that time of year once again…Time for this year’s Darwin Awards
First Place – Candidate for this years Darwin Awards. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down into the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, “FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A FUCK-UP!” For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he’d been about to draw his gun. He couldn’t have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.