A man died and went to heaven. An angel was showing him around. The angel
showed him a room full of people singing gospel music. The angel explained
that these were the Baptists. He showed the man another room full of
people talking and laughing. He explained that these were the Methodists
and Protestants. They then walked by another room and the angel said,
“Shhhh!” The man asked “Why?” The angel replied, “Those are the Catholics;
they think they are the only ones here!”
Author: admin
Flaming Airplane
Four guys were in an airplane, which was going down in flames. There were only 3 parachutes, though.
The reverand says “I should go! everybody needs religion!” they agree and he jumps.
Another guy says “I’m the smartest man on earth! If I die, everyone goes broke!” so he jumps.
The old guy says to the hipee “I am old, and you have a whole life ahead of you, so you jump.”
But the hipee replies “Chill dude! We can both go! the smartest man on earth forgot the parachute!”
For Bird Lovers!
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perch on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
And gently lowered the window
And crushed his freakin’ head!
Bottled Water
A man and a woman are in a supermarket. They are standing in front of the water aisle.
The man wonders aloud, “Who would buy all this expensive Evian water anyway?”
The woman says, “Evian… It’s naive spelled backwards.”
7 Dwarfs
The 7 dwarfs were walking through rome and met the pope. Dopey
went up to the pope and asked,”are there any dwarf nuns in rome?”
the pope replied,”hmm….no there are no dwarf nuns in rome.”
the other 6 dwarfs started giggling, and dopey turned to
scilence them. Then he asked,”are there and dwarf nuns in
europe?”
the pope replied,”um….no there are no dwarf nuns in europe.”
the other 6 dwarfs started laughing, and again dopey scilenced
them. Then dopey asked,”mr.pope, are there any dwarf nuns
anywhere?!?!”
the pope replied,”well….no there are no dwarf nuns anywhere.”
the other 6 dwarfs burst out in laughter and were rolling on the
ground chanting…”DOPEY FUCKED A PENGUIN!!DOPEY FUCKED A
PENGUIN!!!”
Sex is a three-letter word
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some
old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Kyoto!Kyoto who?Kyoto jail,
Knock KnockWho’s there?Kyoto!Kyoto who?Kyoto jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200!
your momma is so fat she made the one-size-…
your momma is so fat she made the one-size-fits-all store go out of business.
Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Libraries Are Sexy
You got any overdue library books? ‘Cause you got fine written all over you!
Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pile-on,
10,000 volts went up its tail
and turned its wool to nylon.
Wet cat
There was a cat and a rooster, and they were walking down the street.
The cat was the most beautiful cat in the world.
All of a sudden it stepped in a puddle and got wet.
The rooster started laughing, and even more roosters started going by the cat.
The moral of this story: Wherever there’s a beautiful wet pussy, the cocks will come.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci