Author: admin

Blindman Job Trial

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A blind man went to a lumber yard for a job. The boss didn’t want to just tell him no, so he told him that if he could pass a test, he’d hire him. He had one of his employees take him out back to identify some lumber. He brought the man to a pile of pine paneling, the man walked around the pile and sniffed, correctly identifying it as pine paneling.The employee thought, “How did he do that?” Next he took him to a pile of 2×4’s. These he also correctly identified after sniffing around a bit. Now they were all amazed. They decided it was time to trick him. They brought out the receptionist and laid her buck naked on her back. The blind man walked around and sniffed.Obviously puzzled he walked around and sniffed and walked around and sniffed some more. Scratching his head, he told them to flip it over.They did so and the sniffing continued. Suddenly he started laughing and said”You think you’ve got me, don’t you? Well I know what that is. That’s the shit house door off of a tuna boat!

Resulta que el Papa est�

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Resulta que el Papa est� predicando una misa y de un instante a otro le da un paro cardiaco y muere. Al llegar al Cielo, toca a la puerta y desde adentro San Pedro pregunta:

“�Qui�n es?”

“Su Santidad”, contesta el Sumo Pont�fice.

En eso, adentro de la habitaci�n se escucha:

“�En la madre! Guarden el alcohol y las cervezas; t� Tadeo, dile a las monjas que se pongan las t�nicas y a las del table que se vistan, pero ya, r�pido…”

El Santo Padre, ya desesperado, llama otra vez y m�s fuerte.

“�Qui�n es?”, pregunta San Pedro nuevamente.

“�Su Santidad!”

�Ay, pinche Juan Pablo, grita m�s fuerte, pens� que dec�as SALUBRIDAD!”

Just A Juggalo

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A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys’ car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat. “Sir,” the cop says.”Why do you have all those knives?””They’re for my juggling act,” the man says.”I don’t believe you,” says the cop.”Prove it.” So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.”Man,” says the first guy.”I’m glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard.”

Making Babies

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A mom of an 8 year old boy was awaiting her son’s arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn’t understand the answer to that “million dollar question”. Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman?The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was. The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man’s stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth.The mom told her boy that that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint…that the sperm came out of the man’s penis.Suddenly, the boy’s face became quite red and he said, “YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!!??”

Perfect shot

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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking
down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his
partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit
the blasted ball!” The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man-you don’t stand
a chance of hitting her from here!”