this girl asks this guy if he would like a drink he said i’ll
have a coke she say would you like that in the can he say i’ll
have it right here.
Author: admin
An Irish man went to
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed.
When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?”
Our man said “Yes, I would like to change my name.”
“What is your current name?” asked the clerk.
“Martin Arsehole,” replied the man.
The clerk laughed, and said “I can see why you want a change. What would
you like your new name to be?”
“Tim.”
I’d give my right arm
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Helen Kellers Dog
Q:What does Helen Keller Call Her dog?
A:aaaggggghhhhhaaagghh!!!!!
End of the discussion
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. “Look,” said one, “let’s be
honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other. That was the end
of the discussion.
Blonde orders a drink.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender…
Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.” Bartender:”What is a B and C?”. Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.” Bartender: “What’s a G and T?” Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a
15.” Bartender: “What’s a 15?” Blonde: “7 and 7”
A vision
What’s the difference between a vision and a sight?
When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision, but when she wakes up in the morning she’s a sight.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
News: Impersonating your wife
Joshua Marete Mutuma, 32, was arrested in Modesto, Calif., on suspicion of impersonating his wife, who had a restraining order against him. Mutuma arrived at the courthouse dressed as a woman with a long black wig and five o’clock shadow, talking in falsetto as he attempted to have the restraining order dismissed.——————–Ordered to submit a urine sample for a drug test before his sentencing on a theft conviction, John Issa of Painesville, Ohio, got a bright idea. He substituted his wife’s sample for his. Issa’s plan backfired, however, when the test results came back showing that he was pregnant.
Most Religious
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious.
“I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara,” exclaimed the Muslim. Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory.”
“One day while fishing,” started the Christian,” I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Christian and am now teaching young children about Him.”
“One day I was walking down the road,” explained the Jew,” I was in my most expensive designer outfit in the middle of New York city. Suddenly I saw a black bag on the ground in front of me appear from nowhere. I put my hand inside and found a million dollars in cash. I truly thought my end had come as it was a Saturday and we are not allowed to handle money on Saturdays. But I did not lose my faith in Jehova, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 500 metres all around me, it was Tuesday… “
With a nurse
Attorney: Doctor, what treatment did you give this man?
Doctor: I cleansed the wound, sutured it, and put him to bed with a nurse.
The 10 Commandments in Order
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His response was: 3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.
How do you make Polish
How do you make Polish sausage?
Use retarded pigs